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So, how many lemmynsfw.com communities have you blocked?
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It's wrong because most of the time that isn't something your SO will be ok with. If your wife is ok with it, thats that.
It is unreasonable to not be okay with fantasizing.
You've had some weird, prudish SO's then, thats perfectly normal and if a woman i was dating was that controlling, I would be out the door.
I'm surprised you see it as prudish not wanting your SO lusting for and jerking off to other women having sex. Why not attend strip clubs too. Watching some women dance is tamer than watching them have sex.
And I've never had a SO who would be against me going to strip clubs either. That seems prudish as well.
I'm not sure how much more nuance there can be than 'most people arent ok with it, but I get it if you and your wife are'