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Pronouns
(lemmy.world)
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this post was submitted on 28 Apr 2024
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I'd even go simpler than that. "If calling people by their preferred pronouns is one of the hundred biggest challenges...." Inserting "correct" into the statement just begs to get into an argument with a conservative and feels like you're trying to force them to accept a different reality than they want to.
IMHO it's simply a personal preference thing. Let people live how they want to live. You don't have to convince everyone that Sally is really a woman trapped in the body of a man, you just have to say that it's her preference you call her as a "she". People should have the freedom to define themselves. That's it. End of story.
My conservative neighbor brought up trans stuff thinking he'd use all the conservative media talking points and my answer was simply "it doesn't really bother me. I'm a live and let live kind of guy. If they want me to use a different pronoun I'll do my best to switch to that pronoun." If you spin it as a freedom instead of a reality then it's easier to accept.
There IS a correct answer, though. If someone says, "My name is John", you don't get to tell them, "Well you look like a James to me, so I'm only going to call you James". That would be incorrect. You don't get to define other people's existence like that.
Same thing. 'John' isn't a preferred name. It's his name. Calling him a different name would be incorrect just like using different pronouns.
We had a temp receptionist called Joyce at my job. She said that at her old job they called her Mama J, and indicated that she would like to be called that here as well. I guess we were all assholes who defined her existence by calling her Joyce.
Nicknames aren’t pronouns, they’re nicknames. If her legal name was Mama J and you didn’t call her that, yeah, that would probably constitute harassment over time and her asking you to call her by her legal name.
What would actually be comparable is if you addressed her with male pronouns. Since the discussion was about pronouns, not nicknames.