They're all big, yuge, and stuffed full of so much freedom and democracy that every time you take a bite, red-white-blue rays of light shoot out of your mouth as the national anthem plays in your soul while you chew.

They're so nutritional and filling that you'll get all your needed nutrients and vitamins your body's starving for, like ketchup and electrolytes, that's what plants crave!

Every time you have a REAL PATRIOTS burger you gain more muscle mass and move closer to becoming the modern Adonis you could become, for only a small micro-payment installment plan of 100 payments of 29.99 per burger.

BECOME A REAL AMERICAN TODAY!