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Free time [Mr. Lovenstein]
(lemmy.world)
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this post was submitted on 18 May 2024
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Comic Strips
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With time and ADHD: "I could do so much if I just had the motivation."
Life: big bag of Motivation
Me, 2 hours later: "I burned through all that motivation and only got 1/16th of 3 million different things done."
Can relate. Last year I learned HTML+CSS+PHP and then built and ran a radio station called Radio Lemmy. It was the whole package. Even built programming blocks and brought on DJs. I did this all in under three weeks.
And then two months later I got lost all motivation and shut the entire project down. Didn't even make a post in the community for the station. One day the station/website existed, the next day it didn't. I feel guilty for fucking off, but I'm too embarrassed to go even check to see if anyone made a post asking what happened. Even created a new account in a different instance to hide. I'm pathetic.
Fucking ADHD. I'll never have any accomplishments in life because I lose all motivation to carry on the moment I have to actually put in work to make the dream a reality. I've always wanted to run a radio station ever since I was a kid, but it stopped being fun and started feeling like a job way sooner than I wanted it to. I'd love to reboot the concept but I know I'm just going to get tired of it and ghost the listeners a second time around... *sigh*
At some point you will just stop trying, knowing you will run out of motivation mid way anyway. It's liberating in a way, knowing the only thing you can expect from yourself is consuming media.
Nevarrr! I will die bashing myself against these rocks
But seriously, I just have to satisfy myself with only being able put out maybe one mid project every couple of years