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What is your country's "coals to Newcastle"?
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In Poland it is „nosić drewno do lasu” (bring wood to the forest). Similar, but a bit different (pointless not just by being pointless, but by being impossible): „nie zawrócisz kijem Wisły” – 'you won't turn Vistula (our biggest river) with a stick'.
Same in Czech. Nosit dříví do lesa.
For the second one we have "z hovna bič neupleteš" = you can't weave a whip out of a shit.
We have the same about a shit whip – „z gówna bata nie ukręcisz”