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this post was submitted on 30 Jul 2023
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Asklemmy
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You're basically right, and all I'm saying is that a technological solution like: my phone buzzes and tells me "the person over there is open to meeting new people and isn't busy at the moment" would be rad as hell. Just a little reassurance that I'm not an intruder so I don't get caught in my own head and trip over my own neurosis.
Also, online is totally different from IRL. We're all just lines of text on a screen here; NPCs in the posting RPG. Even better, by responding you've already proven that you're open to responses.
... although I just realized we can't disable inbox replies and now I'm freaking out! ๐
I am like you, also wanting a signal before interacting.
I think for me, a big reason is because I'm autistic and I won't be able to perceive any 'cues' from other people, so I default to assuming they don't want to talk unless they're extremely explicit about the opposite.
But I think a lot of people also look for a signal, they're just better able to read it from body language and whatnot?
I'm actually overly sensitive to perceiving cues from other people, so I get constant false signals all the time and it stresses me the hell out! I try so very hard not to assume what other people are thinking, but I am so so so sensitive to even the slightest signs that I blow things way out of proportion.
Like, a typical person talks to a stranger and see's "oh they're busy, I'll talk to them later"
I talk to a stranger and see "oh they hate me I guess I'll go die lol"
And it doesn't matter that I know it isn't real! I'll just spend the rest of the day beating myself up for bothering them, even as I run around in circles in my own head arguing with myself that I'm being ridiculous. Ugh. Just thinking about this has me stressed lol