yes I'd say both of these things to said groups of people at least once, if told not to because they felt it was offensive I'd obviously stop, but I believe that purposely trying to santise your own language because you assume they'll get upset is infantalising.

As a trans person I'm often on the receiving end of such treatment, people are afraid to ask me questions I'd be happy to answer because they assume they'd upset me by a mere mention of my biology.

Walking on eggshells around minorities is, though well intended, often infantalising, as if us poor weak tortured souls couldn't handle normal speech.

Talk to everyone normally and equally, unless you've been informed of ways to accommodate them better, then do it out of respect and kindness, not an assumption.