“Young people have gotten lazy because of the internet,” she said. “They’re learning the ways of the white people.”

I'm sorry.

Then she paused and added, “But please don’t take our internet away.”

The Marubo are struggling with the internet’s fundamental dilemma: It has become essential — at a cost.

I'm so sorry.

One Marubo leader, Enoque Marubo (all Marubo use the same surname), 40, said he immediately saw Starlink’s potential. After spending years outside the forest, he said he believed the internet could give his people new autonomy. With it, they could communicate better, inform themselves and tell their own stories.

Okay... you spent years around the internet as it is now and didn't come away with thinking... "Wow... this is pretty crappy."... What gives?

Enoque has split his life between the forest and the city, working at one point as a graphic designer for Coca-Cola. ~caption under a photo

Oh... okay.

Allyson Reneau’s LinkedIn page describes her as a space consultant, keynote speaker, author, pilot, equestrian, humanitarian, chief executive, board director and mother of 11 biological children. In person, she says she makes most of her money coaching gymnastics and renting houses near Norman, Okla.

The attention she has attracted has not always been well received. In 2021, she was interviewed on CNN and Fox News for “rescuing” an all-girls robotics team from Afghanistan during the Taliban takeover. But days later, lawyers for the robotics team told Ms. Reneau to stop taking credit for a rescue she had little to do with.

“Do you remember Charlie Wilson?” Ms. Reneau asked me. She was referring to the Texas congressman who secured Stinger missiles that helped the Afghan mujahedeen defeat the Soviets in the 1980s — but that critics say also unintentionally gave rise to the Taliban.

The internet was an immediate sensation. “It changed the routine so much that it was detrimental,” Enoque admitted. “In the village, if you don’t hunt, fish and plant, you don’t eat.”

Welcome to the future.

Leaders realized they needed limits. The internet would be switched on for only two hours in the morning, five hours in the evening, and all day Sunday.

And the LORD SAYETH, "ON THE SEVENTH DAY, THOU SHALT LOG ON!"

Aaannnddd... the article just keeps getting more depressing from there and now I'm sad.