Most of the time, lemmy.

Obviously, the difficulty with very niche communities not being useful here can be annoying.

And, being real, the lack of robust moderation tools makes moderating a pain in the ass.

But, overall, I find the people on lemmy less prone to bad behavior, and the discussions more rewarding. That makes up for the underlying missing functional things worth it.

Reddit, even before they went full asshole as a company, had the major problem of being big. Humans are assholes for the most part. The more people you have, and the lower the bar for entry, the more of those assholes are going to be a problem.

Lemmy has assholes too. The usual knee jerk reactionaries, trolls, and that sort of thing. But the very minor extra effort of having to pick an instance reduces how many of the brain dead assholes will put in the effort. The assholes are a better quality of asshole lol.

But damn, there were some long established communities on reddit that simply can't be reproduced here because you can't make old communities. There are a ton of subs that had been around since subs came around. You can't duplicate that kind of organic growth. There's very few C/s on lemmy that have a real sense of community yet. I think it'll happen, but it hasn't had time for a lot of real cultures to spring up the way reddit had.

I miss the hell out of those long established neighborhoods.