Maybe they want to live in a world where someone will sell them a girlfriend that the government won’t make them put in a car seat.

Maybe I'm a green dinosaur.

It promises to reduce every human relationship to transactional at best, brute force more likely.

One should learn about libertarian ideologies from people practicing them, and not from their circlejerk partners.

It obviously doesn't. It doesn't specify anything except voluntarism and use of force being taboo, thus it allows even ancom if those ancoms don't try to ancomify people who don't want to join their communes.

brute force more likely.

Brute force is the least acceptable thing in libertarianism, everything else has smaller priority, so obviously not.

You aren’t going to call the police on abusive parents when you know the children will be homeless as a result.

They'll be adopted or will live in an orphanage, of course, and not that.

A crushing nightmare where property holders know that all that want to eat need to go through them.

No. There's nothing to make zoning laws in ancap and other similar regulations allowing the weird real estate market some countries have.

What kinda fascist wouldn’t want that? Imagine the power they would hold, fully backed by the state.

I dunno, I don't see your visions because you didn't share the stuff.