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What do I give my bad dad for father's day?
(lemy.lol)
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Price sticker had me amused - I never thought of that!
Another suggestion is to buy a card in a different language. Or if it says Mother’s Day where you don’t even bother replacing “Mother” with “Father”, but that might be a bit too intentionally mean so I would only send this depending on what kind of relationship and trauma that OP has.