It's the nature of the game. Elden ring has fail-forward levelling. Eith you beat the boss, or you accumulate xp beating your head against the boss until you win. And a lot of it is about building knowledge - learning enemy attack patterns, figuring out which weapons and spells work against which enemies

What i get from most complaints about Souls games is people don't actually want to play souls games. Maybe they think they do, but there seems to e a misunderstanding of what the core gameplay of souls games is and how they work. Like people look at them and think that if it weren't for the inaccessible combat then souls games could be played like Skyrim or Mass Effect. And that's not the case. There are very very few, very austere quests. There's almost no dialogue. Character development, such as there is, is mostly implied.

Combat is pretty much the whole game. If you weren't being seriously challeneged by the enemies you could beat the game in, idk, two hours maybe if you knew where to go? You need to beat two bosses, then one boss, then one boss, then the game is over.

Grinding is when I don't jump from boss to boss, one shotting all of them. The more you force me to explore or learn move patterns, the grinder it is.