It only led to me masking it, I wouldn't really say it was traumatising. And it's probably for the best that I cut out the habit 🤣

However, that's not where my frustrations lie. My mother contacted my primary school and asked them about it and if I did it during the day or just with my mum around, etc. My mum obviously isn't an expert in Child psychology, however the school should have probably seen it as a tell-tale sign of autism. Instead they just told me off for doing it. Ironically it became a joke among my friends who just thought "That's just flax being flax".

Years later I have finished compulsory education and I am seeing a psychiatric nurse, he just mentions "oh and just to make sure, you have autism by the way?" and it was the first I heard of it. He told me that he had just assumed that I had it. Was put on a several year long waiting list and finally got diagnosed.

Also turns out several family members thought I had it, one who was studying to be a teacher, but my mum just ignored their opinion ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯ (not to rip on her or anything, she just wasn't as well educated on it, had just assumed all people with autism were low functioning)