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submitted 4 months ago by xilliah@beehaw.org to c/lgbtq_plus@beehaw.org

Hey lovelies, open question: Are any of you into self defense and do you want to share something with the rest of us?

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[-] Gaywallet@beehaw.org 3 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

It sounds like you reached a conclusion you're happy with but I did want to address a few things-

What really just puzzles me is what you guys are saying about weapons. You are really telling me that if I am in the forest alone with a guy, that a knife or pistol with basic training doesn’t help me? Obviously I am here to learn, but what are you guys talking about? Statistics? Why can’t I just shoot the guy in the leg? It’s confusing!

I brought up statistics because I think it's important to mention. When researchers look at recorded violent interactions they are able to see certain patterns from which we can draw certain conclusions. It turns out that most violent interactions happen between two armed individuals. This implies that when one individual is armed and the other is not, that they feel a certain level of safety being armed and don't often escalate to violence as often. We can also look at broad strokes for weapon ownership in places where you need a license to be armed - and we find that people who get a license to have a weapon are more likely to be injured in a violent altercation with someone else. In short, owning any weapon increases the likelihood that you get into a violent altercation with someone else. What I'm getting at here is that arming yourself might make you feel more safe, but it can also be a form of escalation in an altercation. Someone who might be responsive to you de-escalating with speech might not be responsive if you're also pointing a weapon at them.

I don't say this to discourage you from owning a weapon, especially if you are a target. I'm trans too, so I fully understand being attacked and the desire to arm yourself. I think it's important to think about what kind of weapon you are bringing, however, and how those weapons are perceived. If someone pulled a can of mace on me, for example, I'm going to approach that person much differently than if they pull a knife or a gun and I think that distinction is important when it comes to escalation. Non-lethal forms of self defense escalate less than those that are lethal and some non-lethal forms such as defensive sprays are really easy to use, have good range, and are easily concealed making them ideal self-defense weapons.

isn’t the best defense a good offense? What’s the point of running if he runs after me? Isn’t it better to break his arm and then run?

I think you are underestimating the risk of getting in to any physical altercation with someone. Even if you break his arm, that may not stop his pursuit and depending on how close you are to him when you break his arm, it's possible he could incapacitate you in some way at the same time you break his arm. You causing physical damage to him may also cause him to respond spitefully towards you - the anger at you hurting him may bring him to injure you as a response to that, above and beyond the initial intent (or in the worst case scenario, inspire him to murder). Furthermore, in many situations he may not be acting alone and being good at getting away and drawing attention to yourself are much better ways to survive as social pressures and being seen doing illegal acts or pursuing others is usually a good incentive for them to not pursue. In general, violence should always be seen as a means of last resort, because that escalation almost always means an escalation in response, especially when we are talking about someone who already showed up with violent intent.

[-] xilliah@beehaw.org 2 points 4 months ago

Thanks for you care. I've thought about it and I understand now that I shouldn't just pull out knife willy nilly, as it is like throwing gasoline on a fire. But if things escalate from their side to a certain level, I'll be ready to combine the knife with my normal defense. And I am thinking only for counters here, so it is morally and legally right. I'll be careful.

Fun fact someone just gave me her knife. It's exactly what I needed and wanted. The type, material, the size, quality etc. It's perfect for camping, cooking etc and can be worn on the belt.

I can wear it on the belt when out in nature. I'll leave it in my bag in most other situations, and for sure when crossing the border. That way I always have a reason to carry.

this post was submitted on 08 Jul 2024
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