I tried asking ChatGPT to roleplay as Trump and repeat it in it's own words, however it gave me back the same near-verbatim. I think this proves that the original text wasn't far off

Listen, folks, you're totally missing the point here. Trees aren't a problem; they're an incredible, untapped resource.

Look at them—millions, no, billions of trees just sitting there, doing nothing. They're not making a single cent for our amazing billionaires. Imagine the fantastic things our billionaires could do if we let them chop down all those trees. We’d have an endless supply of beautiful toilet paper for everyone and billions of Bibles, plus a copy of the Constitution, all for the fantastic price of $65.

And guess what? By getting rid of all these trees, we’d also solve the problem of forest fires. No trees, no forest fires—so simple.

Now, we’ll keep some forests, especially near homes, but not for the reasons you think. We need those forests to burn down sometimes and take a few houses with them. Why? Because then we can rebuild those homes with the trees we chopped down elsewhere—a huge win for the construction industry. Plus, it means higher insurance premiums for homes near forests, and we can even privatize forest fire services. Think of all the benefits for our billionaires.

When you start thinking about the money, it all makes perfect sense.