How low on avocado do you need to be to not be allowed to say that it's guac? 3.5% will certainly do it.
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You clearly haven't had a burger with a good quality bun & patty grilled to medium rare with layers of cheddar, Colby, pepper jack and Swiss melted on top
None of those cheeses melt well, they split and leak oil. Sure they get soft and gooey but a bit of sodium citrate would make it better.
What do you mean by it "splitting?" How does real cheese not "melt well" exactly? And oily cheese? Where do you even get oily cheese?
Splitting, or breaking, is the separation of sauce, cheese, or other emulsion. As a milk product, cheese is a mixture of water, oil, and protein (and some sugars, fungus, coloring agents, details vary). Heat causes those elements to "split" and is the reason you can't make a cheese sauce without some kind of emulsifier.
Premium American cheese, labeled "pasteurized process American cheese", is mostly traditional cheese by weight (usually cheddar, often with Colby or others mixed in) with salt, color, emulsifier, citric acid, and up to 5% added dairy fat. That's all the same stuff traditional cheese has except for the emulsifier (commonly sodium citrate or phosphate) which keeps it from separating as it melts.
Also all cheese is a "processed food" before anyone gets riled up about the terminology.