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submitted 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) by okasen@slrpnk.net to c/parenting@lemmy.world

My baby is 6 weeks old. I’ve been planning to buy some loop earplugs “soon”. Well she just discovered a kind of cry that reverberates in my amygdala, so “soon” was NOT SOON ENOUGH.

Sigh. I’m gonna buy loops once my partner is awake. Yknow, so I can ask what colour he wants his in…

Eta for context! Loops and ear defenders specifically don’t block all noise, they just reduce the decibels of loud sounds. So using them means you can be more physically present for a baby with colic (and probably other fun ailments that happen later) longer before you need to step away from your nerves being fried. This is especially life-saving for neurodivergent parents, obviously, but I’d bet most parents get stressed and tetchy during certain cries.

Tl;dr still always reply to your baby when they cry! And it’s okay to use tools that make the experience gentler on yourself.

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[-] MajorHavoc@programming.dev 9 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Lol. Votes from non-parents and parents who didn't have a child with colick.

A parent should absolutely ignore it, after doing the checklist of basic needs, and after calling for, and while waiting for, whatever additional help is available to them.

A ragged worn out parent isn't any use to the child, and also isn't particularly safe for the child to be near.

A screaming baby is rarely in any immediate danger. It takes strength to scream. That's generally a good sign. If the baby can scream bloody murder, it can afford to wait a few minutes for a more thoughtful reaction to it's needs.

Babies screams evolved to get everyone human in the area off their asses. But babies don't actually know what is a crisis and what isn't. Those are both good and normal things, but the combination is often overwhelming.

Once an adult human has determined that no crisis is impending for the next few minutes, it's time to put the fussy baby down and get some rest and relief.

[-] okasen@slrpnk.net 11 points 3 months ago

Yep this. I’ve been given the advice to step away from my baby when she’s crying if I’m overwhelmed and she’s in a safe place. That’s advice from basically every medical professional I’ve encountered during pregnancy and post partum. Because it is so, so important to not let your nerves get fried in an attempt to be a perfect parent, because letting your nerves get fried will lead to shit you’ll regret down the line. Be that shouting or checking out mentally or way worse stuff.

[-] protist@mander.xyz -1 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Ok, but this post doesn't say anything about any of that, it just says "if you're going to have a baby, buy earplugs." Most infants don't have colic and don't cry for no reason.

Source: Have had baby

[-] MajorHavoc@programming.dev 9 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Most babies don't almost choke on their own snot too, but it's too late to buy a snot sucker in the moment. Same with earplugs. They're a few bucks each. I advise new parents to buy both and shove them in a drawer somewhere.

this post was submitted on 31 Jul 2024
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