Insane that you think the workers weren't exploited for the surplus value they created in the USSR. I guess the holsum state apparatus just took what value the workers produced

You trying to justify that a society can exist without any degree of bureaucracy, and somehow the existence of administrative personnel earning normal wages totally means that there's an oppressive class and an exploited one.

and then very conveniently gave them the amount it was worth in incredibly shitty housing, bread lines

Hahaha oh god no, "communism is when bread line and your house is ugly". We're at peak lib levels here. Bread lines were nonexistent in the USSR after WW2 until Perestroika, but sure buddy, you've done your research.

no mass deportations and genocides of ethnicities inconvenient to the Russian majority

you run a colonial empire

You're a fucking joke. You can possibly make the argument of forced deportations of Crimean Tatars, but that's literally the only case of anything remotely like an attack to a given ethnicity that you can conjure. Saying that there was anything remotely resembling genocide in the USSR is ahistorical anti-communist bullshit. Again proving you haven't read a fucking history book not written by libs. Oh, the russian majority, adoring a Georgian as a statesman and leaving as his successor a Ukrainian! There hasn't been a single state on earth less oppressive towards local ethnicities than the USSR. Education being offered by law in the regional language of the republics, written publications in the local language exceeding that of Russian in most republics, celebration of local customs and traditions (go to Uzbekistan and tell me how Russified they are), equal access to education, healthcare, similar salaries between republics and ethnicities, vast investment in industrial development of all regions... You have no fucking idea what colonialism is.

Women's rights were world pioneer levels in the USSR. Hah. Maybe in the 20s

By the 70s, there were more engineer women in the USSR than in the rest of the world together. You can't at that period find comparable numbers of women in justice, in higher positions at education, as doctors, or as any highly regarded position in society in literally any other country of the world, not even those that had been industrialised for 150 years longer than the USSR. Widely available canteens and restaurants so the burden of cooking won't fall on women. Widely available kindergartens so that the burden of upbringing children won't fall on women. Again with the fucking ahistorical bullshit. Claiming that the USSR was the most feminist nation of its time is simply a historical fact if you look at any fucking statistic on the topic, which you clearly haven't done.

What good is a union that doesn't even have the right (or ability) to strike?

Controlling important aspects of production. Enforcing workplace safety regulation. Organizing educational activities for workers by workers, and training for higher positions. Providing access to doctors and medical revisions. Providing access to affordable housing. Choosing representatives to make their demands. Electing higher positions within the workplace. Providing announcement boards and periodical publications with complaints and remarks of workers for everyone in the workplace to read. Again, proving you haven't read a fucking book. I'll flip the question: if unions were useless, why was the USSR factually the country with the highest number of unionized workers? Did Stalin personally go to everyone's house and put a gun to their head to join the union or what?

Not leftist anti-Stalinism

Nuanced anti-Stalinism is actually good, I'm not Stalinist by any means. The great terror was absolutely horrendous, unnecessary, and accomplished nothing. But the extent of the analysis of Stalinism being "this happened because Stalin bad" isn't Marxist, it's lazy and peak lib.