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I find no motivation in working for myself
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My rule is that I only do stuff that comes from within me.
Now that doesn't mean that I can't search for that feeling.
I mean sure, if I am on the sofa with a warm blanket posting to Lemmy, I am gonna be anchored there.
What works for me is to work backwards. What do I want? Why? What is needed for that? Why? Just keep breaking it up.
Then I'll do what I call circling, like an eagle. You start with the big circle and slowly shrink it until you get to the core of the matter and finally swoop down and catch your target.
For instance a large circle could be being at your pc drinking a coffee, reading something, taking some short breaks to move and look out the window. This is already closer than say doomscrolling, and in that sense a success.
Now once it feels right, you circle a bit closer. Read or watch something related to the topic you care about. And so on.
The trick is to work with the grain, instead of against the grain, of your brainy bits by balancing boredom against frustration in order to find your flow.
You can stay in any circle as long as you please and it is better to step back into a larger circle than to give up entirely.
While doing this keep visualizing what success looks like. Express this, but also your anxieties and whatever else in a freewriting note (avoid structure).
Most importantly perhaps is to remain skeptical of your desires. The world will always have more work for you to do and will happily keep you busy. And your desires aren't necessarily your friends. Be conscious of the ones you want to commit to. The easiest way to close a task is to simply not do it.
I kind of want to do it though. I want to be busy. I want to be hosting FOSS software for other people, like a SearX instance and maybe Invidious. The problem is, there's many more things that I should be doing in my homelab but for some reason I find more motivation in doing something that can help others rather than for myself
Why are you so focused on those other things?
I like FOSS and I like the community. It's probably just in my character to be motivated for someone else, which is why I'm looking for ways to trick my brain
Naw I mean, those other things in your lab that aren't for others that you claim you should be doing?
Why not just do the things that are for others? If that motivates you then that's who you are.
I'm also a privacy and security enthusiast, and everyone wants to have their library of Linux ISOs on Jellyfin lol. I really should get to it
Well I've never managed to convince anybody but myself to drop stuff they don't feel motivated to do. So I'm not gonna try :/