"I'd spend my life with you" means "I don't find you attractive".

That's also not what she said according to the text which we are all arguing from. You are being willfully obtuse

That really is not the part of the comment that's in question as being hurtful. It is the preceding, "I would not fuck you". There is still an understanding that they would fuck in the context of knowing each other, etc. But is it really not just a little bit not great to hear your partner say something that amounts to, "If you were just like somebody who meant nothing to me and I was evaluating in physical terms, I wouldn't hit that shit"? And I'll reiterate, I don't think that was the intended meaning, certainly not the intended main point. But, as continues to be demonstrated, there are a whole fuck lot of men who would interpret this remark as calling them ugly.