73

I wouldve been the best miss andrist (painted nail emoji)

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[-] Egon@hexbear.net 21 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Personally I got entrenched because I experienced a lot of people saying the negative interpretation wasn't valid because "she said..." And then they'd go on to quote something that wasn't directly in the text. There were people talking about misogyny and how the guy felt like he owned her or wasn't comfortable with the fact with her having had other partners, which was also just invented whole cloth. It's something that can exist in the meta-text and be part of a larger discussion, but it is not present in the text itself and arguing from the position that it is and those who don't see it are guilty of doing it, was something that ticked me off.

That's something that generally frustrates me. It is not nice when you are having a disagreement and the person you are disagreeing with is not willing to engage with your arguments. It really sucks when someone is telling you you are objectively wrong, but whatever they're quoting isn't actually present anywhere, but is instead, at best, their interpretation, which they pretend is the text itself.

That combined with dismissals like saying the people disagreeing just don't understand how attraction works for women (which is also some weird gender essentialist "men are from Mars, women are from Venus" bullshit) as if it's unique to women to have attraction be more than looks, and dismissals like saying you have sex with your spouse as if that's what people giving the negative interpretation we're saying, really pissed me off. Just immense condescension assuming people who disagree with you don't understand really basic shit, instead of engaging in good faith and actually trying to understand why the people disagreeing with you are disagreeing.

It seemed to me like a thread were a bunch of people came in pre-conceived about the whole thing, and then refused to interrogate their own views because they're leftists and therefore their opinions are correct, and therefore they never need to stop and reconsider, and therefore everyone who disagrees with them is wrong on a personal or ideological level. That's not extraordinary, it is what usually creates struggle sessions here.
This time was just extra frustrating because the people doing that kept claiming the other side was being unreasonable, but as far as I can tell most people that say they can see how the dude understood it how he did, also say they can see what she tried to say.
That was dismissed by a lot of people and I really hate it when things like that are just dismissed and then followed up with variations of "whats your argument tho?" Or accusations of bigotry. It's poor form, it's rude it's not good for site culture.

[-] anarchoilluminati@hexbear.net 4 points 3 months ago

I missed it at the time, too, but I read through it and I totally agree with you.

Thank you for your service on that thread. fidel-salute-big

[-] Egon@hexbear.net 3 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Thank you <3
I don't know what's going on, but it seems like so many people online struggle with the basic concept of "reading". I constantly see people misinterpret basic shit, accuse the other of something heinous, then get a response that clearly explains how their accusation is unfounded or a misinterpretation that requires misreading or skipping large parts of text, and then they just dig in further, still apparently failing to read large parts of the responses they get.
More and more often I end up just answering "I didn't write that. Reread what I wrote." because people just make shit up.

One place in the thread I express frustration because I feel as though I experience that, because someone is trying to argue a lot of things I haven't mentioned at all and have no reason to disagree with.

this post was submitted on 12 Aug 2024
73 points (94.0% liked)

chapotraphouse

13533 readers
963 users here now

Banned? DM Wmill to appeal.

No anti-nautilism posts. See: Eco-fascism Primer

Gossip posts go in c/gossip. Don't post low-hanging fruit here after it gets removed from c/gossip

founded 3 years ago
MODERATORS