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Like ok. When I was a lib, I had a lot of communist values already. I was already socdem leaning (though an Obama supporter because I foolishly believed he stood for those values). The vast majority of times I moved left involved some sort of confrontation with a person to my left on an issue. Sometimes there was resistance on my part, but that usually involved just like, a single argument, me realizing they were right, and moving left on the issue. Other times it was just... receiving information I didnt previously know. The closer to ML I got, the harder the struggles were, as some of the current geopolticial issues and also historical issues involved in that were the hardest to deprogram and the most hard coded. But I still got there.

Even simply openly calling myself as a communist was as simple as seeing someone else on Tumblr openly do so and realizing "oh wait thats an option?"

Oddly, "lesser evilism is not actually the correct way to approach electorally" was kind of my final gate? Despite being a poster here I sort of secretly still was a lesser evilist up until the recent stuff with Gaza. So it wasnt a straight line admittedly, but what it did do was give me a certain line of thinking about what the mindset of people who vote Democrat were.

In the midst of autistic myopia, I sort of for a long time believed that most libs were "communists in waiting" too. I sort of assumed you just had to spread the word, and they'd get there. Maybe they'd struggle on some of the same points I did, like not automatically believing a protest movement is good because its a protest movement, or that "America bad" isnt actually a bad way of thinking and critically supporting anti-American forces in the world is in fact the correct thing to do, and of course as I mentioned lesser evilism. But for the most part, you just had to give them permission to be communist. You just had to normalize it.

So seeing liberals like, be presented with the option to move left and slamming the door closed violently. Even on the most basic and obvious things. It was disheartening. I really thought it would be easier than that!

Theres this recent awful trend on TikTok (one Ive mostly only just heard of, because I'm not on that platform) of people "turning in their leftist card" over real leftists not flocking to support Harris and being principled about opposing genocide. One particular one, the only one I've seen with my own eyes, was a guy saying he "just found out he's not a leftist, he's a liberal, and [he's] turning in [his] leftist card". Like, whats happening there is a liberal is learning for the first time that he's a liberal. But like, my experience with that realization was to go "oh, so THATS what leftism is? OK. let me travel there" (yaknow, like I said, on average lol, it wasnt always that easy). So seeing the door slam for me is kinda weird? Still to this day despite being somewhat used to it now?

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[-] Red_Eclipse@hexbear.net 56 points 2 months ago

I relate to a lot of this, and I do wonder if it's an autism thing. Because like, I see a lot of lefties complain about libs as if they know they're thinly veiled fascists and are just pretending/virtue signaling etc, and they're always linking roderic day's thing about propaganda. But my experience was just nothing like that. It's like.... no, I literally just did not know lol. I always had good egalitarian-like values, and I was fed so much bullshit that I was just naively a liberal. I was a radlib for sooooo long because of all the other western 'leftists' being stuck in electoralism, defeatism, 'human-nature'-ism etc. The final thing that pushed me here was:

Wait, you mean communism ISN'T when no food?

Wait, you mean communism actually DID work and wasn't just a 1984 animal farm dictatorship ???

Wait, you mean it wasn't us libbies on the "right side of history", it was always the socialists, and basically every good historical 'great man' idol that we look up to (MLK, helen keller, einstein etc) was a socialist too??

THE COMMIES WERE RIGHT THIS WHOLE FREAKIN TIME????

Because my entire life I've been taught commie = evil, like, they're just The Bad Guys. It's drilled into your head. And then when you come up with something like "hey why don't we provide for everybody and make things fair?" it's always: "Nah, that doesn't work, it's been tried, and human beings are just too selfish to make it work."

And that had younger me like "Oh, okay... :( "

And our entire culture, media, news, history education etc is SUCH A FUCK that it took THIS LONG for me to finally get some real facts and be like wtf are you kidding me?!?!? The "villains" were right this whole time?!?!

Maybe it is like an autistic myopia for us. Maybe most people aren't like this...? I know it's more accurate that people's ideology follows their material interests, and for most of us westoids, our material interests are the empire staying an empire. And you could say that because I'm disabled, that means my material interests 100% align with the abolition of capitalism, therefore here I am. But there's definitely an element of like, bruh I did not KNOW. I wish somebody had told me sooner. But it's a wasteland out here in the west. I ultimately had to figure it out for myself.

And I'm glad I did, because unknowingly being a "communist waiting for permission to be one" is depressing as HELL man. I saw the BS of electoralism, reforms obviously were not working, I knew the necessity of revolution but I could NOT believe that it was ever possible, like the belief that humans are selfish and it just never works was so ingrained. So I literally felt like there was no hope. Absolutely nothing. We're just fucked and this is it and we're powerless to do anything about it. Total capitalist realism. The bleakest view of reality. Did you also go through this phase of utter despair like I did?

[-] autismdragon@hexbear.net 22 points 2 months ago

I see a lot of lefties complain about libs as if they know they're thinly veiled fascists and are just pretending/virtue signaling

Yeah I admit my past makes this very frusterating to me. And also like, the freinds I have that are still libs and I know are fairly well meaning people overall, just misguided on some points. Ive never been as much of a fan of that kind of rhetoric.

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this post was submitted on 17 Aug 2024
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