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this post was submitted on 06 Aug 2023
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Asklemmy
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Trust me friend, it's in my nature to to fuck up. I'll be at the bottom soon enough. And once I hit rock bottom I'll take the cowards way.
Seems like nothing I do is right. Like everything I do is detrimental.
For example I like to speed. I love to hear the roar of my engine on an open road. But also getting a speeding ticket sucks ass. I have a few and they stress me out so bad i struggle to sleep so I'm dog tired at work. I work graveyard so my boss expects me to fall asleep so he can write me up and fite me for cause so he can hire one of his friends and not have to pay me unemployment bc then he'd get in trouble with his boss.
I also like to cook but I live with my parents and they don't like my cooking. Kills my self esteem because I don't actually know if i cook well. I bbq once a week but do other things sporadically. From chicken parm to Chilaquiles. Today i spend $50 on chicken alone, somewhere around 15 lbs and they all went out to lunch today. Breaks my heart truly.
What really sucks is that i finally have some money in my pocket and I finally have some friends in my life, but i don't feel any different. It's like having the carpet pulled out from under your feet. I thought things would be different. I guess the only difference i was destined to make was about bbq sauce. Lol what a joke
Honestly, I feel for you. I'm not gonna get into specifics here but there's better ways. I've been known to be somewhat self destructive to put it mildly. I'm probably not gonna be able to tell you something that would make a difference for you, even if we were best friends. You're not alone man and probably don't fuck up as much as you think.
Too bad about the chicken, fuck em. Family can be poison, fuck em.
Use that money to make your life better.
Something something insert life changing fantastic advice here.
Dont get we wrong i love my family, but I think we'd all be happier if I lived a couple hours away from them. Close enough to visit on holidays but far enough that they're outta sight and outta mind