I never got through Return of the King. Twice I slogged through Fellowship and Two Towers, I got a few pages into Return of the King and I was just done with it. I didn't care enough about these characters or this world, I couldn't tell what was relevant or what wasn't, so to this day I haven't read the last book, and the events of the first two have run together in my mind as a beige DnD scented sludge.

I sat through the first movie in the theater with some friends in like 9th grade and once again I remember it as a series of spectacular visuals and a bunch of characters I didn't give a shit about. Without my permission this became one of only five things pop culture was allowed to care about for the rest of my life.