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this post was submitted on 22 Aug 2024
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No Stupid Questions
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No such thing. Ask away!
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Hey, behavioral health clinician here. I get this a lot. The question is about boundaries. I'm seeing three kinds of responses: 1) lie 2) leave boundaries down 3) assert yourself. Obviously answer three is what you're looking for, but the question is how. I like what u/FuglyDuck said: “ I appreciate the invitation but I have a policy to not meet patients outside of work or take photos with patients.”
Don't think about boundaries as rules so much as walls. People who can't assert themselves tend to have that wall down all the time and let anyone in. This can be uncomfortable, especially if you are a private person. So what is it that prevents the wall from coming up? A professional would stop here and let you figure out the rest but since I'm just a rando on the internet I'll just take a guess and say maybe there's some fear and guilt involved in not wanting to hurt the other person's feelings or disappoint them or maybe just not knowing how to handle the change in atmosphere that you believe will come after setting the boundary up. And then I'd wanna know what makes you feel responsible for protecting their feelings, or what makes you assume it will hurt their feelings/change the atmosphere, and if there's a way to carry yourself that preserves that emotion/atmosphere even after the wall is raised a bit. Phew, that was a long sentence. Anyway the more I ramble the less helpful this sounds, and that's fine since I'm just a rando on the internet and not giving professional advice. Have a great day!