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How to deal with a partner's chronic pain (slrpnk.net)
submitted 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) by BlackRoseAmongThorns@slrpnk.net to c/relationship_advice@lemmy.world
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Been in a relationship for a year, since early in the relationship my partner has been suffering with chronic back pain. This pain is almost always present, this causes breakdowns multiple times a week, especially on weekends.

I've been having a hard time helping her manage her pain and being there for her, it reoccures so much that I'm starting to feel myself becoming apathetic towards her, and sometimes outright cold.

I haven't really been getting a chance to rest from being emotionally available, or even socially available (even though life circumstance already caused me to basically halt all social life). And i haven't really had a weekend this past months that i could use to rest instead of being on call and hearing her cry most of the day.

I feel like I'm pouring from an empty cup and that I don't have any other choice, otherwise I'd be leaving her to deal with it herself.

It feels like it's going to be the end of our relationship, any advice?

p.s. we're a man-woman relationship, young adults, both of us not really experienced in relationships, if that's any help.

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[-] BlackRoseAmongThorns@slrpnk.net 4 points 2 months ago

Much appreciated, saving this comment for later. I also have something else to ask of you, you mentioned food intolerances, might they have caused unexplained nausea? That is something my partner is dealing with, i want to know how did you find out about, and also pinpoint the exact intolerances, I've done some reading on it before trying to find a doctor to contact and get advice from.

[-] PlasticExistence@lemmy.world 6 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

I have autoimmune diseases (thyroid issues and fibromyalgia). Food intolerances go hand-in-hand with autoimmune issues.

Giving up gluten at the recommendation of a GP and a Endocrinologist made a huge difference, but after about a year I still noticed I had a fair amount of chronic pain and inflammation. So the same endocrinologist recommended I get a Mediator Release Test which helped me identify a long list of other foods that my immune system reacts to badly. Corn is a big one.

I never had the more obvious gut issues that others in my situation do, but I suppose her nausea could be from food.

Has she had any traumatic experiences? Anxiety issues? Depression? Things like that are often huge contributors to these problems. Sometimes the problems cause anxiety and depression. I know my pain made me much less healthy mentally, which then made the pain worse.

I don't know where in the world you are located, but in the USA at least you can try to find a Doctor of Osteopathic Medicine (DO). They still go to med school, but they focus their application of medical science differently from an MD.

[-] BlackRoseAmongThorns@slrpnk.net 4 points 2 months ago

Yeah anxiety and similar issues are present for both of us, I'm saving this comment as well, many thanks, friend.

this post was submitted on 07 Sep 2024
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