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Yes (hexbear.net)
submitted 2 months ago by RNAi@hexbear.net to c/urbanism@hexbear.net
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[-] ThermonuclearEgg@hexbear.net 39 points 2 months ago

Active voice first.

"A car on the train tracks caused an East LA Metro train to derail"

[-] RNAi@hexbear.net 21 points 2 months ago

I like hearing the important part first, here being "train derails"

[-] ThermonuclearEgg@hexbear.net 24 points 2 months ago

Fair enough but establishing a causative form is critical here. As written, the train is to blame for striking the car in the same way a car is to blame for striking the pedestrian.

this post was submitted on 20 Sep 2024
226 points (99.6% liked)

traingang

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