I crave for some kind of religion and I want it to be real, I think I was made for it genetically. My core being tries to find meaning in everything, every story, every feeling, the connection with others. Therefore I understand that desire.

But I just can't take the bullshit when I think about it rationally. The lack of doubt people have in any of their beliefs and the kind of certainty they support their imagined traditions and Gods with. It's insane.

Finding a meaningful life feels natural, but the only truth I have is that I cannot believe anything for certain. So all religion becomes a complete mindtrap for people who use it to sooth themselves.

And that is fine, I get it. I get that you don't want to question it as that's harder and makes life more chaotic. And I also feel some envy for people who are able to not care (as much) about uncertainty. But good for them.

The only thing is, keep those ideas to yourself and your community and accept others for not being able to commit to your story. My story and all my beliefs are probably also flawed, but that doubt is a healthy way to accept that others have different ideas.