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[-] jubilationtcornpone@sh.itjust.works 27 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

"And on the third day, there was a wedding in Cana. Jesus' mother was there. When the wine was drunk, Jesus' mother said to him, 'We're out of wine.' 'Bruh... That's a big yikes. But why do I care?', replied Jesus.

Jesus mother instructed the servants, 'you just do whatever he tells you no matter how stupid it sounds.' Jesus sighed and turned to the servants saying, ' Okay. You see those jars? Nope. Not that one. The big ones. Yeah. Those big ones over there. Go fill them up with water. All the way up. Then take some of the water and give it to the host."

The servants were more than a little skeptical but shrugged and did as they were told. When the host of the wedding feast tasted the water, it had become wine. And the host exclaimed, "Damn! That is some good shit. Where did you get that from?" And the servants were amazed because they knew from where the wine came.

And the servants implored Jesus, 'Do it again! No, wait. Can you make something stronger this time?"

-- The Gospel According to [Skibidi] John

[-] Flax_vert@feddit.uk 2 points 1 month ago

Is this that gen z bible paraphrase

this post was submitted on 26 Sep 2024
540 points (95.9% liked)

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