I have the same thought sometimes, but you can't help someone who refuses help. They're essentially hurting you in that way, and that's not something that love can ever fix.

It's not selfish to think about your own well-being in a relationship. It's like a drowning person continually holding onto you because they're afraid of dying alone: you both end up drowning.

You can't keep hurting yourself for someone who keeps stepping into danger. Eventually, they need to learn to take another route. If they refuse or show that they really just can't, that's not a failing on you. You should not feel guilty for that. You're important, too.

Doesn't mean it doesn't suck, of course. But it's not your fault. You tried. You loved them. It's okay. It's not your fault.