Counterpoint: a lot of the time, no one actually tells you why they don't want to be your friend. People want to be polite and avoid talking about your negative traits, but they end up just perpetuating them because you don't know how to improve.

In addition, not everyone has a choice in how they present themselves. If someone has a physical or mental disability they might slur words, put weird emphasis on words, or do other things that disturb other people.

i think people can change in their teenage years by the forced interaction in a small social environment at school. but once they reach adulthood, anyone in need of further personal growth just isolates and festers in their ways, avoiding confrontations that could prove them wrong. here's to hoping that you who scrolled this far down in this lemmy thread make an unlikely friend when you least expect it and become a little better than before 😎👍

It's pretty much locked in once you hit your teens. You can nudge it a little, you can change how you present yourself but your personality is what you are. And you cannot change that significantly. Just try changing your core values, your ethics. Can you start believing and feeling like murder and rape is ethical?

I'm not sure how accurate this is but I've read it in a scientific article some time ago. In particular, it highlighted the connection to how likely people are to commit crimes based on personality and brain structure alone and whether you can actually be held responsible for crimes since there is at least some determinism.