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What's some really unpopular opinion you have?
(lemmings.world)
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this post was submitted on 11 Aug 2023
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Being fat is a choice the vast majority of the time, and I have a huge bias against big people.
I used to be fat (250ish lbs (110ish kg) at 5'8"ish (172ish cm)), and as much as I would like to blame my shit on anything else, the person feeding me, the person sitting at the computer for hours, the person actively avoiding all physical activity was me and no one else. After I got diagnosed with some weight related shit, I turned my entire life upside down, am at a much healthier 150 lbs (68ish kg), and feel so much better, both physically and mentally.
I'm aware of my bias, and I make every active effort to counter it in my actual dealings with bigger people. Especially because there are certain circumstances, however rarely, where it may not actually be their fault. But I'd be lying if I said my initial impression was anything except "God, what a lazy, fat fuck."
Edit: Added metric units
I used to be fat, and when I watch morbidly obese people talk about how much they love food and it makes them happy and makes them feel better that is 100% me. Food is absolutely an addiction for some people, including me. Thankfully I have it under control to be at a healthy weight and lose weight when I need to, but some of these people have absolutely tragic childhoods or life experiences and I don't blame them at all for coping in that way. I could 100% see myself in that position if I had been through what they have been through.
However, those people are self aware that they are unhealthy. The people I can't stand are the "healthy at every size" fat acceptance people. Healthy at every size was SUPPOSED to be that you can make positive health focused changes at any size and there is no point of no return. But it got twisted into I can be morbidly obese and I am still 100% healthy forever. And they even make people feel bad for wanting to lose weight, even if it's for health reasons. Those people are trash and fall on the same level as antivax people IMO.
Everyone deserves to be treated with respect, until you start spewing harmful bullshit and then I will judge you as much as I want.
I'm also a comfort eater. Huge sweet tooth, and almost 0 self-control when the hunger kicks in. My diet fix was making sure I only buy and order what I should eat, because I will clean my plate. I've accepted that, and making sure there's only the appropriate amount of food in front of me has worked wonders. Holidays and special occasions are sometimes tough, with family shoving food in my face, but I just exercise extra hard afterward, lol.
I definitely agree with you about the fat acceptance movement. I have to leave those conversations before I start saying things I regret. Again, I try really hard to manage my bias.
I have a weight problem and I told my wife, who berates me for it, that if there is food I shouldn't eat in the house, then I will eat it. It's that simple. I'll eat a lot of what's available.
I've lost 30 lbs before with intermittent fasting and taking calories. I know what works for me.
Anyways, she insists that I'm being unreasonable and that I should eat in moderation. She buys ice cream and then will eat a spoonful every 30 days.
I wish I could do that but I simply can't.
In general avoiding situations when you only rely on your willpower gives much better results than fighting yourself. When I think I should loose weight I only buy boring ingredients that require preparation to be tempting in any way. If I get strong cravings I just eat some random vegetable and try to better plan mealtimes next day. It's much harder when living with uncooperative partner or parents that like always having snacks in their kitchen. We're literally built to eat food whenever it's available.
I've been very lucky in that my wife has been very supportive and understanding, but I'm the same way. My rule is that I'm not allowed to shop hungry, because I'll buy shit I don't need to eat, and then I'll eat it because it's there.
This happened with my ex - the kids and I, we are all built more lean and spare, but ex hung on to weight. So I cooked or he did, we all ate the same food but somehow he got fat, we stayed skinny.
Well I am like your wife, low tolerance for sweet stuff - usually when I want something sweet I want to taste it, not really eat it, if that makes sense. So yes, a big spoonful of ice cream, one twix candy & save the other one for next week. Emergency chocolate bar at work lasts a month.
Ex was the other extreme, could binge sweet foods. So even with the metabolic advantage of being a couple inches taller and male, his natural intake kept him on the heavy side.
Intermittent fasting is such a good way to maintain weight, but not if you can eat a bag of candy in your eating window!
I think that's the best way to go about it, eating like a monk literally all the time is much harder than eating well the majority of the time, at least for me lol.
The guilt is an enemy as well, I'm the type to go "well, I've broken my diet strike, might as well eat a sundae" in a sort of self hate spiral that makes no sense. If I allow myself to indulge in expected moments I feel much better. Like, literally everyone around the table at christmas goes like, "I ate way too much", I shouldn't feel bad for feeling the same haha