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What's some really unpopular opinion you have?
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"Even back then there was a lot of media and the thought of being a women was exciting"
I'm sorry for your difficult upbringing, but this does not meet the criteria of gender dysphoria AT ALL. No serious physician would allow you as a teenager or adult to transition based on this.
Also, we know that over sexualized behaviour is unfortunately common in children who suffered abuse. But to conflate this with LBGT or specifically trans issues is heinous, one thing has absolutely nothing to do with the other.