To make toast, follow these simple instructions:

1. partially unplug the power cable from the toaster and pinch its cheeks.

2 plug the cable part of the way in and apply two or three cocktail fork fulls of semen. Place a dish of butter nearby.

3, Plug the cable into the top of the toaster, plug a different cable into the bottom. Insert a slice of bread into one of the slots. Swap the butter for a small dish of ketchup.

4 Swap the ketchup for a jar of duck sauce, fondle the bread.

3. Swap the jar of duck sauce for a scalpel and the tweezers from a swiss army knife. Tell the bread "Ah c'mon you."

2 Unplug the toaster completely, get a Pez dispenser, and turn the bread...sideways?

2. Plug the toaster back in, get a different dish of butter, pinch the bread.

3. Scrape the bread with a fork on a worried tray near a concerned butter knife.

Serve on a plate with losenges, coffee, whippets and coffee.

Lemmy aggressively wants to correct my numbering scheme. Could we just scrap markup formatting entirely on this platform? It fucks up more than it helps.