It was my birthday a few days ago and all I can think about is how I'm still a virgin (lemmynsfw.com)

submitted 1 week ago by Streammy@lemmynsfw.com to c/casualconversation@lemm.ee

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I feel like past a certain age everyone doesn't like growing older. For me I have that same feeling plus the added pressure that every year I go from being an X year old virgin to an X+1 one year old virgin. I'm about to finish collage and go into the work field which given my internship I can already tell I won't have much of a chance at meeting new people even less girls.

Everytime I find someone and start getting along with them really well. I think to my self this will finally be the year which I stop being a virgin. But it just has not worked out. Of course I dont go into a relationship with the sole goal of losing my V-card but it is something that crosses my mind.

I am 24 year old and I am still a virgin.

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[-] friend_of_satan@lemmy.world 38 points 1 week ago

Don't worry about it. I think I first had sex at 30, mostly due to a religious upbringing that I was in the middle of finding my way out of.

If you want to live a sexy life, go do it, but if you like your current life and just haven't found the one, that's something that takes patience and persistence.

One thing you can do is take steps to make sex-positive friends. You can start down that path by talking more openly and frankly about sex, and destigmatize it.

[-] MagicShel@lemmy.zip 13 points 1 week ago

All of this. I had sex once at 14 and then not again for a few years. Losing my "v-card" didn't materially affect my life or relationships.

I didn't discover good sex until my thirties. Due in large part to finding some sex-positive, kinky friends. I think I only ever had sex with one of them, but the social environment had a big effect on my outlook and was a big game changer.

[-] Streammy@lemmynsfw.com 3 points 1 week ago

I mean I havent had a real relationship since the age of 15 and that was barely anything. But I am afraid of what potentional partners may think of me if I havent had sex yet. Feel like they will think that there much be a reason someone didnt want to have sex with me already

[-] MagicShel@lemmy.zip 8 points 1 week ago

They aren't going to know unless you tell them. And if you're already to the point of discussing sex with someone, you're probably past the point of that being a hangup. It's like worrying about the size of your junk—by the time someone is at the point of seeing it, it doesn't matter.

Sex isn't precious. Don't get me wrong. It's intimate and a wonderful way to feel close to another person physically and emotionally. But I feel like it's so intimidating because people think it's precious. It's just sex. Every single thing in your genetic lineage before you has done it for hundreds of millions of years.

Are you going to get hung up about a woman who tells you she's been with thirty people? She's likely just as self-conscious about being judged. I don't know how to express this in a way that is easy for someone on your side of the conversation to hear. I struggled with it earlier in my life. Just worry about being a person someone would be interested in having a relationship with, and sex will follow.

It's when someone is pursuing sex or marriage or whatever without regard to whom that they come across as desperate and creepy.