I might have to move to the UK

Before I moved to the southern US, the only time I'd ever encountered one is when I was a kid. My older brother was in a science class that had "pet german hissing cockroaches," and it was his turn to take them home with him. Well, I dunno if he let them out on purpose or what, but I was showering in our shared bathroom, and when I went to unfold and use my towel, I discovered that it was full of those disgusting creatures. I flew out of that bathroom, man. So my very first experience with them was traumatizing, and now I live in the South, and these things are the bane of my existence. Every few days (now that it's getting colder) I'll see one and it feels like a pustule of hate bursts within me, renewing my sense of bewilderment that man, in all his glory, cannot rid himself of these loathsome, vile things.

I need to move, man.