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You want Matrix. Synapse if you intend to host for others, Conduit if you just want to host for yourself. There are quite a few different clients but I do indeed use ElementX on mobile.
I’ve been having sync issues with conduit lately, takes minutes for the mobile app to catch up. No way to purge old media, or to use something S3-compatible for its storage either.
Also, element x doesn’t support spaces, so if you want to bridge other chats into matrix they all are going to be messed up together.
I like matrix as a concept, but both servers and clients are in a bit of a shitshow state (same as xmpp was years ago).
It's kind of depressing how fragmented the Matrix ecosystem is, a bunch of clients but none seem to support everything together, servers that are slow and bloated, and don't support super basic maintenance tasks like cleaning up old stuff, etc..
Spaces will come but I miss them too. Threads are another feather that I miss on Elemen X