I grew up around older adults for most of my life, in a very "patriotic" community. In fact, my mom used to be centrist and my dad, right-of-center.

I was a cisgender heterosexual girl. Before I myself came out as pan, I really had the mindset of "LGBTQ+ people don't deserve representation". The thing is, I didn't really care what people did, but I didn't think it had to be announced everywhere. I didn't think representation was necessary, and I was kind of ignorant to the injustice LGBTQ+ people face. I thought "Oh, they already have rights, gay marriage has already been legalized, why do they care so much?"

I doubted climate change.

Keep in mind that my grandparents are part-Italian. My grandpa was half-Italian and came from Northern Italy, so I thought just because my grandpa came here legally, all immigrants could afford to do that.

Well, after a while, I started to become friends with other queer and trans people, and it opened my eyes to a new way of thinking. I no longer supported Trump. I started respecting other people more and later found my identity along the way as a genderfluid, left-leaning transmasc person.

I changed quite early in life, thankfully. I changed at age 13, which is better than being like 73, but at least it's a change either way.

I thought being patriotic didn't mean to make America actually better for people, but to just defend everything it did and everything Trump did. I even wore MAGA merch, and I realize how stupid that was now, LMAO.

So my friend came up with the first one in third grade, where it's time for the Addams Family to go to bed and Uncle Fester can't stop screaming "I LOVE THE NIGHT".

Gomez walks into Fester's room and screams "SHUT UP FESTER!"

One I made where Uncle Fester jumps off the roof and starts flying in the middle of the night with ravens.

it's all i hear across the political spectrum: "nobody should be killed for their opinions"

sure, that's fair. you can hold that position, but what does that have to do with Charlie Kirk? if we are going to lend credence to the idea his killer did what he did to stop Kirk from further spreading fascism and bigotry then an opinion would have been the least of the killer's concerns. opinions don't do anything on their own. simply stating how you feel about something and maintaining your beliefs is not oppressive to anyone. it's when you commit action based on that belief and that is what Charlie Kirk had done very, very successfully the last ten or so years of his life.

Charlie Kirk took his beliefs and turned them into a movement. TPUSA, his political organization that he co-founded, has over one thousand chapters nationwide. Imagine if the KKK had that many locations in 2025. He was able to amass an insane amount of support for Trump/MAGA and Christian nationalism as a whole that it blows away anything he did prior to throwing himself in the Trump administration swamp.

people are still stuck on seeing him as some kind of internet guy or podcaster or talking head.. no lol. no, no, no, god i wish. Trump doesn't reach as far without Kirk, Trump doesn't appeal to young crowds without Kirk, Trump doesn't get older conservatives to see him as having longevity without Kirk.. he took the MAGA message and cemented it as an identity; he validated and perpetuated their whole brand.

Kirk is so instrumental in Trump's image and PR that MAGA wouldn't have organized itself as well without him. Jan 6? TPUSA bused folks to the capitol. They were actively participating in the overthrowing of a democratically elected leader.

this was not about opinions; this was not about beliefs. Kirk was shot because of what he did and was doing. acting like he was a victim of having too wrong of an opinion takes away all the real-world damage he contributed to; the literal deaths he was responsible for through stochastic terrorism and COVID denialism.

we have to face and accept the reality of righteous assassinations. this isn't to say to agree with or support them, but to merely acknowledge them as inevitable and not worthy of condemnation. lone assassinations are never helpful for the cause they intend to support, but when there are no peaceful, non-violent options left and you are being systematically killed by the state and its actors, a violent response in self-defense is understandable. don't avoid these actions, show the country what is at risk when we allow fascists to terrify and subjugate us. this is the ultimate fault of those keeping us oppressed, not the person pulling the trigger.

(I probably will switch between transmasc enby and trans man, mainly transmasc though).

Anyway, I realized how happy I get at the thought of being mistaken for a man (I have since I was a child), wearing a binder, wearing men's clothes, etc.

I've had what I now know is gender dysphoria since I was quite young, so it's nice to know that I'm starting to feel comfortable with myself!

This happened just now. It's not serious but, God I wanted to bang my head in a wall.

So, I work in a government non-specialized job. I have some education in IT and I'm trying to get back into the industry after a hiatus (long story). While my job is non-specialized, the bosses realized I'm a somewhat competent programmer and developer (in a tech-illiterate environment I'm basically a God) and basically put me in a position to develop content for the institution I'm at. They get nice whistles and bell and I get to develop my portfolio while avoiding the most boring jobs. You can probably guess some coworkers don't like it and think I'm lazy because I'm "always on the computer", but I digress. It's definitely not the case with Jimmy he at least understands what I do.

Jimmy joined the staff not long ago. He used to be a security guard supervisor and is a competent computer user. In that place that is a lot better than most people. But he knows nothing of programming or development or even intermediate tech support. But he is resourceful and knows how to figure some things out. We get along fine but he is older than me and can be a bit condescending. The moment he arrived I was glad I, at least, had someone else tech-literate. While talking to him I found out he had been enrolled in a Computer Engineering degree but quit on the first semester because "he had no time to go to classes". I was very optimistic until I saw him do some dumb things. One was using a random charger for a laptop because "it is all the same and I know better, kid" (I stopped him just in time). The other was seeing me working on a disassembled machine trying to troubleshoot and he basically banged on a hard drive because "all this needs is a little slap". I almost had a heart attack and managed to stop him as he was about to unknowingly destroy a hard drive.

He used to see me programming and I use LLM's to help me speed some things up. He would, half-joking (or not), say it was easy and he did the same at home and I just tried to make it look harder. After a while he came with a small web app he did to help in his post. It was visually nice, and I applauded his initiative, but I quickly realized it was vibe coded 100%. It was basically HTML and JS all in a single *.htm file. I don't like to put people down or be arrogant so I just complimented the aesthetics of it. It was never usable. I tried to lure him to try to fix it with my help but he was never interested.

Recently we changed posts and I got his old post since it would leave me more free to develop and give tech support. I decided to make something more usable to "replace" his app. I didn't want him to feel I was trying to make him look bad so I decided I'd try to fit his code in the project I started in Laravel. The aesthetics would still be there so he would still be recognized for his initiative. But I soon realized nothing short of the layout would be usable (he had a harcoded pin code in JS, I shit you not) and even that I eventually left out since the interface wouldn't be practical.

Well, sorry for the long context, story time:

Today as we're leaving work he comes to me with a very condescending tone telling me that app was sure to get me in trouble. I had 2 QR codes in my desk. One with my local hotspot with restrictions that runs on the local network, and another with one of my projects ip (that runs in a machine inside the network only I have access to). Everything developed using MVC in Laravel and proper authentication. He actually took a picture of it and showed it to me saying it was the most unsafe thing ever (and probably to other people, but whatever). He was holding that picture like it was the most damning thing ever, like it was the thing that could make me be disciplined for. At first I was dumbfounded because I wasn't truly understanding what was wrong. For a moment I even got worried I had missed something obvious. So I kept asking him what was the problem because I was probably missing it. At first he was saying the local hotspot was a security risk and I should use the local network only (uh). Then he was saying the app I already developed was unsafe to be there and should be on the Internet (I didn't laugh in his face, I'm proud of my composure). Then he told me, in his majestic tone to this lowly pleb, there were rules about data protection and privacy, like any half-competent developer wouldn't know about it. In between some vague concerns and contradictions and insinuations I was getting in trouble with the bosses (that 100% trust me when IT is concerned). I basically insisted he explained himself properly. Always while he was keeping that annoying condescending smirk. I kept my composure and forced him to explain himself properly. Until he eventually realized how blatantly he exposed his ignorance and was making a fool of himself. And he started avoiding the conversation saying stuff like "oh, I don't care, don't say I didn't warn you".

I know what you're thinking. He's trying to scare me into stopping improving that post, since he can see how much of a major improvement it will be. I'm used to it, so I don't care. I'll be leaving that job as soon as I can jump ship anyway. But the more he talks the more I realize that he isn't as capable as I think. Even in other contexts he does everything to look smart but fails. But it was so frustrating trying to explain to me he had no clue what he was talking about and, until today, I hadn't realized how threatened he felt by me. I know he wants to be the go-to IT guy and try to stand out from the rest of us, but he has no chance while I'm around. And after the ignorance I heard today...I wouldn't even trust him with a laptop administrator account.

I work in behavioral healthcare. I have a good job and many skills. I don’t have bad habits. But I realize that my status as a single parent means that I am viewed differently even among my cohort. It’s such a garbage feeling. I guess a small part of me thought that wouldn’t matter if I made enough money and maintained my appearance. But it really, really does. The only people interested in my company aren’t interested in my humanity. Thanks for reading.

crosspostato da: https://thelemmy.club/post/35937089

Okay, I'm fully aware that people cannot decide for me if I'm cis or trans, but I definitely don't think this seems "cis" even if I may be in denial. After all, I feel like if I were just a woman, I'd feel like one all or most of the time and it wouldn't change.

In second or third grade, I really liked tomboy characters like Scout Finch. I had watched the movie based on the book, To Kill a Mockingbird. I identified as a tomboy and didn't want to wear dresses. However, not only this, but I wanted to hang out with only boys, not grow up to wear makeup, cut my hair short, do boys' sports, and be mistaken for a little boy. "Tomboy" was what I used because I didn't understand, but what I really remember wanting was to be a boy.

My favorite characters in media were usually men, such as Uncle Fester, Dr. Doofenshmirtz, Truman from The Truman Show, etc.

At first, I thought what everyone else in my family did: I was a straight girl with fictional crushes on men. However, I started to imagine myself as them, try to fit my personality to be like them, and even imagine myself to have a penis. At twelve, it really felt like I had one.

I was also convinced for a part of my life as a child that I actually had a penis, just a really, really small one. I didn't want my boobs to grow either.

At thirteen, I started identifying as a trans guy called Mikey, only detransitioning due to having a transphobic girlfriend and the impact of our breakup affecting me too much.

Now, I'm questioning again. Some people see me as a feminine man. Others, a masculine woman. I am starting to see myself more as a feminine man.

Did anyone else go through anything similar as trans people? It might mean a lot about my identity to go through this, I think I might be trans.

Hope y'all are happy with NSPM-7...

Edit: thanks for the down votes, can't wait for the mods here to delete this, sorry for getting it off my chest, I guess y'all will be happy with the 'tankies' being rounded up by a fascist state....

Like everyone talks about how nice my ex-friends are, but they were rude to me, called me an annoying bug and stuff, and pretended they didn't know me. And I genuinely want to see them as great people like everyone else sees.

This is going to sound stupid, but one day I was talking with my ex-friend "Carol". While we were friends, someone said the word "heterozygous". Carol mentioned that she was straight, so I jokingly said "hetero, like you, Carol!'

She acted as if I called her a slur and got very offended, saying "How dare you call me 'hetero'?!" so I apologized.

(We are ex-friends because of drama [not this], which is kind of a long story, but I guess not the point of the post.)

I have heard many straight people call themselves "hetero", though, including myself when I thought I was straight.

She really thinks I am goofy in the head and told me to "just be normal" like my sister... My dad got really pissed at her for that...

I can't talk to my dad though because he is mean to my sister and thankfully doesn't live with us.

By 2030, 45% of prime working age women in the US, defined as women aged between 25 and 44, will be single according to Census Bureau historical data and Morgan Stanley forecasts – the largest share in history.

Hundreds of those women, from across the US, shared with the Guardian why they were single, how they felt about it and what they would be looking for in a future partner if they were still in the market for one.

“I hated being single after my last relationship broke down,” said Sarah, 43, a sales representative from California. “I miss having someone to cook for, to share things with. But now, my motto is: ‘My alone feels so good, I’ll only have you if your presence is sweeter than my solitude.’”

My best friend had suffered treatment resistant depression for the longest time. Three years ago, he chose to leave us. I wrote him a letter back then.

Today, I accidentally clicked on the letter I wrote. It says, "I know you want me to live.'

I had to hold my tears went to the bathroom to avoid people at work seeing a grown me cry.

I just realized the following:

-I am the first in my extended family to have a tertiary education. My parents and grandparents were laborers.

-Despite having two degrees, I've never been able to use either of them

-I spent the next twenty years working various customer service jobs while never actually rising through the ranks.

-Today I'm over 40 and looking at living paycheck to paycheck until the day I die or retire. No-one in my generation with half a brain expects retirement to just, y'know, be there when it's our turn. All of us are waking up to the reality that despite paying into SS for our entire working lives, we will never get even a fraction of what we put in back.

Given these circumstances, how am I supposed to convince my son to continue his education when he's finished with high school? I feel like a liar already for trying to convince him that if he just works hard at something it'll eventually pay off, because I have seen firsthand that this just isn't true?

My friend says he's queer but he's always talking about how much he hates the LGBTQ community and calls them things like pedophiles and such, saying the whole community is like that and that they're evil and says he's one of the "good" bisexual people.

My marriage of 9 years, 361 days has ended today.

Being a trans woman happily married to a cis woman living in the USA I feel like I am living the timeline of a character in V for Vendetta. I watched this movie innumerable in my youth, and it's always held a special place in my heart as I've aged and watched it every year on the 5th of November. Now that I'm coming up on my 3rd year watching it as a Woman and living a life with joy I didn't know imaginable, I can't help but reflect on the plot. But every time I do I have an immense out of body influence that I am the wife of the women jailed next to V who was rounded up and taken away first.... I have no intention of allowing that to be my fate and if it is my fate I'm oddly at peace with it cause I am finally living and seeing life in full color and at peace with my existence, but I had to get it off my chest, hope you are ok fellow human. :3

So, I just broke up with my ex as well, as she was using me. She found out I was now dating one of my good friends, and she's calling me a slut for moving on.

i'm so happy! i'm listening to music!!!

crosspostato da: https://thelemmy.club/post/35079986

so, if you have read my other posts, i just broke up with sophie because we were moving too fast and didn't "click instantly" or hit it off, so she decided she would get to know me better and be my friend.

my friend eliana says she definitely does want to be my friend, and she waves to me and all that sometimes (i think she did today).

my mom, however, said based on her experience, sophie does not really want to be friends and wants to be left alone mainly and i should wait for her to make contact.

i understand if she wants to be left alone, since we just broke up, so i do exactly that.

however, i usually have to talk to her first because she usually only talks to her friends, sits closer to them, i've noticed, and initiates contact with them but not me. however, she will still include me in stuff, invite me to things she's doing, etc. which makes me think she might want to be friends or she's doing it just to be nice.

after all, she was closer to them than me and we didn't really KNOW each other, we just knew who each other was.

should i give up the whole "friend thing"? wait a while?

I was contemplating the idea death the other day and it didn't bother me. I'm not gonna kill myself, it would destroy my family and I love them dearly, but I wounslt be too upset if I died. My only regret is that I have boneitis, I mean, that they would be inconvenienced.

A search or 2 later and I read the article above. There's a difference between active and passive suicidal ideation. I'm not actively interested in ending myself, but not too actively interested in being here either.

I'm middle aged and taking stock of my life has been, on average, net negative. There have been some amazing positive moments! But it's like the peaks of a mountain - they don't really affect the overall average very much. Life has been a series of a thousand disappointments and emotional papercuts and I'm just tired of it all. A thousand minus one moments outweigh a single plus one hundred moment.

I used to talk to a therapist but I got to the point where i felt it wasn't helping. I know what the problems are and I feel powerless to fix them. It's like I have to run 5 miles to be happy, but I only ever have the stamina to run 1 and then it all starts over. I have no hope that it will improve. It hasn't most of my life, and why would it change now?

I will still be working until November 25th, so not immediately dire. As well, I work for a union and there will hopefully be another position for me available for me to go into, but I am the sole working person in our household currently and the thought of both my husband and I being jobless is terrifying.

we just broke up, and i more or less feel like she didn't want to feel bad so she dated me. i'm highkey tired of people who only like me platonically getting with me because it's only them who try to date me, then they realize they don't like me or didn't like me all along and just played with me because they didn't want to feel bad.

i can't help but be upset and i do not wanna see my ex at all, but she's such a nice person :(

and i'm tired of never "clicking" with people because it's always their damn reason for being hesitant or breaking up with me, i never click with anyone because i'm so damn weird and different and they just feel so bad for me for that.

yes, i need someone to talk to. please be nice and don't be rude or anything like that, i'm not in the mood right now.

I'm aroace and I just broke up with a girl because I didn't want intimacy because I discovered I'm aromantic.

my girlfriend really doesn't like my friend of several years. she is constantly snippy with him and she and her friends, i've heard, talk behind his back and say stuff about how annoying he is.

i was treated the exact same way when i was bullied, so it really got me reminded of that and i got a little upset but thought i overreacted.

i'm giving her the benefit of the doubt, just wanted to share that. i hope i'm dating a nice person and not secretly a bully.

edit: we broke up.