Just do it two more times, duh

I thought those were quite robust, i heard of one being submerged to a depth of 3840 meters and surviving

Oh i was already doing one of those actually

I like my distance estimates the way i like my toilet paper

rough

Oh i was already doing one of those actually

I'm outside, holding my phone to scroll Lemmy, without gloves

I can with absolute confidence tell you that the coldest thing in the known universe is not some quantum chip, it's my fingers

Oh hi Wendy did you know this is a crunch Santa Cecilia granite benchtop? crunch crunch

You don't even need substances, if you just lie down for a while you'll black out for like 8 hours

Less reliable but way cheaper than chemical blackouts

I'm out on a walk, listening to a podcast, and scrolling Lemmy...

I'm still short 2 forms of distraction, but i'm running out of senses to overstimulate!

A pile of money on fire

And then Apple refusing to repair it due to "water damage"

No but humans typically do

Uh, that's what he said wasn't it?