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submitted 6 months ago by jay2@beehaw.org to c/greenspace@beehaw.org

My bird loves a good cucumber, one that has a really goopy center. The problem I'm having is the store bought cucumbers in my area are pathetic even when they are in season. They consist of mostly the white firm flesh with very little goop or seed in the center. Additionally, at 22yo, My friend is running out of summers and I always promised him we would try to grow a good cucumber one day.

I'm not exactly a gardener but this seems easy enough. My grandfather gardened and I remember him going out of his way to get certain breeds of seeds to get the precise genes he wanted. I'm trying to do that with cucumbers, and I'm looking for that goop.

Any cucumber enthusiasts able to recommend a brand? Planting and growing tips are welcome as well, but I'm not trying to turn this into a large project either.

I'm in the Pittsburgh, PA area. I have several areas to plant for adjusting sunlight duration. Soil is poor and a bit swampy. I could probably use a container. Unsure what's best yet.

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[-] nettle@mander.xyz 7 points 6 months ago

I agree with your parrot, the more seeds the better.

In New Zealand we have a cucumber called the port Albert cucumber, its big, easy to grow, and has tons of seeds. Unfortunately I couldn't find it for sale outside of NZ (maybe under a different name?).

A slightly smaller international alternative, still with lots of big seeds (tho not quite as many), is the Crystal apple cucumber. Its also easy to grow.

We've grown both of them and will grow both again. They get more/bigger seeds when left to mature, but go sour if left for to long. I still love them when they are sour (your parrot might to) but everyone else thinks I'm crazy.

[-] jay2@beehaw.org 2 points 5 months ago

I was able to find the Port Albert seeds for sale to my region. I'm unsure if it's lineage is purer than yours, but it had the right name. The crystal apple was another one that made the initial list of breeds to pick from. I can't say if I've ever had a sour cucumber or not. It's one of those fruits that always kind of tastes the same to me, watery and earthy with a pinch of salt. If its a drastic difference, then I maybe haven't had that honor.

[-] nettle@mander.xyz 1 points 5 months ago

They taste like watered down sour, you will know it when you taste it.

Crystal apples and Port Albert only go sour if left on the vine way too long (they also get a very tough skin and sometimes go bitter if left really long). So you're unlikely to find sour ones at the store.

I should have said it before, but you still get a lot of seediness before they go sour. I think all cucumbers go sour eventually, if you don't like it just pick them early enouph and there will still be plenty of seeds. (For port Albert and crystal apples the more yellow the more sour)

[-] jay2@beehaw.org 2 points 5 months ago

Oh, and I wanted to ask you a specific (or anyone else for that matter). Feel free to tell me to pound it sideways if you don't know.

When I was looking up the Port Albert, I also discovered a sort-of kin to it called a 'Lemon Cucumber'. Are they any good?

[-] nettle@mander.xyz 1 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

crystal apple cucumbers seem to be a variety of lemon cucumber.

Crystal apple cucumbers are spherical and can both go sour if left to long, they also go yellow as they age on the vine making them look like lemons so that's probably where the name comes from. there seems to be other varietys of lemon cucumber as well but I have not tried others.

Both would be kin to port Albert, I prefer port albert as they are a bit larger making them have a bit more seed per flesh.

[-] LallyLuckFarm@beehaw.org 6 points 6 months ago

I am not really a cucumber enthusiast, but 'Longfellow' might be worth growing. The seed core looks fairly robust for these, and it's the only one I've spotted where the description talks about the flesh being melty

[-] jay2@beehaw.org 2 points 5 months ago

Yes, this is one I hear a lot. It's likely going to be a finalist.

[-] xylem@beehaw.org 5 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

I've only grown Marketmore, which is basically what you get in supermarkets but with the advantage that you can eat it right off the plant rather than trucking it from Mexico or California. I grew it in full sun with a trellis, and the four plants I had last year were very productive. Make sure it gets consistent water or the fruits can develop badly or split.

With some cucumber varieties you have to prevent pollination by picking off the male flowers, that's not the case for Marketmore.

[-] wolfyvegan@slrpnk.net 1 points 5 months ago

A fairly reliable choice in a wide range of conditions, but unfortunately not very goopy.

[-] jay2@beehaw.org 1 points 5 months ago

This is the other variety that keeps coming up. Straight 8 is also on the list. I'm working in a grocery store right now and have access to people who SHOULD be in the know. I've been told that the ones readily available to my Pittsburgh region are the seedless hybrids trucked in and 30 days between picking and slicing.

Sadly, the guy I spoke with knew a fair amount about the differences in cucumber varieties. He advised I seek elsewhere as to how best grow them. I truly don't need another chore to do after work and don't want to prune either.

[-] wolfyvegan@slrpnk.net 2 points 5 months ago

Possibly pushing your definition of "cucumber" a bit, but Cucumis anguria comes to mind. Probably not fit for the swamp, but in a container in full sun, it could work.

[-] jay2@beehaw.org 3 points 5 months ago

I've never eaten one but have seen them at the grocery store before. I had no idea it was a cucumber variety. I thought it to be along the lines of a sweet fruit (like starfruit or dragon fruit).

As for Dale, I'd have to be over cautious. I'm unfamiliar with it and it has a known hazards entry regarding the seeds. I'd have to defer to Dr. Mike (his vet) to be sure it's not the last thing he eats. I give him other fruits that have toxic parts, and I remove those parts, but it's a fruit I'm familiar with and am comfortable doing it. as an example, cherries are one of his favorite fruits, but the pits are deadly if he eats one. Grapes on the other hand, I'm not sure. I won't give him one. Not worth the risk in my opinion. Leeching can occur from the seeds and even seedless grapes can have small underdeveloped seeds.

On that note, chocolate, caffeine, avocados, tobacco and any fruit pits are all deadly. Alcohol, salt, oil, honey and fake sugars should be avoided. As part of his daily diet, he eats a serving of fresh fruit/melon for breakfast and steamed veggies at night. He eats most of whatever I eat for dinner as well. Especially chicken. He LOVES chicken. We tell him it's his cousin Arnold or aunt Ruth. It seems to make him happier.

[-] jay2@beehaw.org 1 points 1 week ago

So, to wrap things up, it's now October 7th and the garden has been mostly dismantled. I am still awaiting the sunflowers seeds to develop and bees are still visiting the dying marigolds.

It was a horrible weather year for my first garden. It rained just about everyday in the month of May. In fact, I think I lost a green bean seed due to flooding and overflow in the container. June, July and August saw maybe (1) light rain event each with upper 90 deg f temps throughout most of July and August. It was as hot and dry a season as I can ever remember.

The marigolds did well. I observed no difference in insect populations with them around or away. They are technically still going, but are in their last stages of dying. As the bumblebees are still visiting, I've allowed them to remain in their pots. They were nice in that they did not require much effort.

The muncher cucumber plants were put to rest. Three plants delivered about thirty delicious cucumbers. The trellis worked well, though they did fight it a little bit. They also outgrew it. I should have probably built it a bit taller. I also had to extend it in several different directions on the fly as it popped up side vines. The fruits were delicious, though small. Somewhere around 5" long at 1-1/2" diameter were the average. It seemed that I had to really allow the fruits to over ripen and start turning yellow before I really got a good shot of the goop that Dale likes. I did self pollinate some of them which turned out to be pretty easy. I had several issues in July where I would spontaneously lose baby cucumbers en masse. I am not certain, but i'm thinking it was due to the heatwave. The cucumbers did NOT seem to appreciate full sun and would wilt in the heat of the day.

The pole style blue lake green beans, also put to rest, had the same issues with their trellis, though they WAY outgrew it. I also had too many plants in one container which led to conflict, infighting and entanglement, which sadly led to pruning shears during flowering. They got planted a week later than the cucumbers (May 17th) and took an additional month until they decided to flower. They had a very small yield, but they did make some nice green beans which Dale also loved. I lost a lot of baby green beans in July, presumably from the heatwave. I lost a lot of green beans in August to cabbage white caterpillars. I was really unprepared for how big these plants get.

The catnip did not do so well either, though I may have contributed to it by fertilizing them a few times before learning you shouldn't do that. It went into a high plant growth pattern, which made for a lot of buds, but they were all really weak sauce.

The sunflowers were pretty much a disaster. I had (2) pots with a plant each that did not survive the catastrophic flooding at the end of May. I replanted them mid June, much to the happiness of some asshole creature living in the area as it would show up every night to dig around under the mulch. They at least made it to a natural demise, so I am hoping to get some sunflower seeds. (6) other plants in other areas of the yard made it to flower only to get dramatically trampled by (presumably) the 'self-appointed fire marshall' from the movie 'the gods must be crazy'. They were a complete loss without time to replant.

Overall, it was kinda frustrating, but worthwhile. Dale got his munch on, which always makes for a happy baby bird. I learned a lot about several things that before I knew really nothing about. It was slightly pricier than I planned due to buying the containers and soils and slightly more demanding of my time than I planned.

I may try again next year. Additionally, I purchased some stinging nettle seeds which I am going to plant in containers in the spring. Most will be utilized for plant fertilizer but I want to try making the drinkable tea with it as well to see if it helps my allergies any.

Thanks all. Live and help live.

[-] jay2@beehaw.org 1 points 5 months ago

Update: I have made the selections and planted the garden on May 11. I am seed sowing Muncher variety cucumbers in a large container with a trellis and a couple of side pots of marigold.

The container is a 36x17x15 rectangular plastic storage tub. I placed it on a 36x22x3 pallet, and dropped a tarp in it to cover the sides (both inside and outside tub walls). I filled it with 100 pounds of topsoil prepped with some miracle grow liquid. The trellis is nothing too pretty. Old pallets broken down for a 60x36 wood frame leaning against the house on a 60 degree angle. I have some poly rope to use as lattice and can adjust on the fly.

I selected the Muncher variety for it being good on a trellis, its burpless and resistant to a lot of disease. A local to my area grows these every year in a raised bed with trellis. I planted (3) groupings of (2) seeds for (6) seeds total. I will trim to 3 at some point. I plan on adding some mulch when the plants take hold of the vines. I'm capable of pollinating them manually if I have to.

I should get 2 hours with the sun obscured by trees followed by 6 hours of unimpeded sun before it disappears behind the house. It will not get direct sun for the last 3-4 hours.

The marigolds are to attract insects and for their odorous protection. Dunno. He works at a place that sells marigold seeds. I wonder if he jive talked me. Sounds sus, but I had soil left over and thought what the hell.

Wish Dales cucumbers luck and thanks for the replies. I'll post a final update in a few months (because I hate leaving things unfinished).

this post was submitted on 20 Apr 2025
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