How is that weird? That’s how friendships work. You meet a random person (or raccoon, in this case), you discover you both jive, and the next thing you know, you’re both on your way to steal all the gold in Fort Knox. Rather obvious, really.

3 young raccoons jumped me once. We have a contract now. Every night, I leave them one egg my ducks laid and they leave my house and garbage cans alone. This unspoken accord has been doing on for about 2 years now.