I've started noticing that I'm echoing some of the bad habits of my father, either behaviorally or genetically, I'm not sure which. I'm determined to never go down that path because I've seen what it's done to our family. I've made some changes that will hopefully head that off. If those don't help, there's always professional help.
Still, depressing to realize.
Similar boat. It helps to have someone who is willing to (kindly and patiently) call you out on it, with the understanding that it's what you want them to do. Good luck, stay strong and be confident that acknowledging the issue and wanting to change are huge steps you've already taken
Thank you! Good luck to you too :)
The realization of how truely alone I am when everything started collapsing after our house was sold and how my parents who supposedly were suppose to love me, don't love me and how I do have daddy issues because of this and I am not exactly as strong mentally as I thought of myself to be.
I need to get a grip when driving and not let others upset me so easily.
Stay in the basement. No driving required.
7Hey fellow road rager! I too suffer from this aillment while knowing at the same time that it could be life threatening if I cross paths with an armed short fused a$$hole. I live in a very high traffic city with stuff to do on both sides of it, taking my kid to some classes results in a two hour commute and then two hours back home. Not easy and it makes me want to light my hair on fire sooooo me and my kid play the "maybe" game:
Maybe that guy cut me off because he is pooping in his pants (Kid laughs and it Takes the edge of me bursting into flames)
Maybe that lady trying to pass me in a not so nice way is late for her flight to (insert whatever place you/your kid think of and talk about what things you'd like to do there. While in Italy, for example, we thought about asking for a pizza with pineapple on it and putting a clown wig on the David)
I could go on and on (I won't) but the main thing is to redirect my anger as energy to somewhere else.
I find it amusing when I do it with my kid because it helps us connect while spending time together. When I am by myself I play it too, but the NSFW version: This guy is tailgating me because he cannot wait to get pegg3d when he gets home. Etc etc. I chuckle for a bit and let it pass. Not kink shaming anyone at all.
Maybe I am a bit insane but this has helped me tremendously.
Great outlook i need to try this
That I actually do have a bad temper and do get angry very easily, that my anger does not justify my verbal/physical reactions (nor was I 'right' just because I was angry) and that these reactions will hurt those I care about/those I don't care about but still didn't deserve my violence, which is a surefire way to end up in jail (perhaps) and in Hell (more likely).
For everyone who has similar issues, try to remember two things:
If you're gonna break the law, be smart about it. In the time it takes you to do it the right way, you probably will have these feelings pass. If not... get that shitter.
I dissociate and fawn pretty much constantly in most social situations. I do not feel in control. What most people know me as is a bunch of trauma responses. I feel like I'm watching myself have conversations and making "decisions" from another room.
It took me a long time to admit this to myself.
Stop having social situations by staying in the basement. All better!
My ADD is far worse than I thought and I should have noticed that decades ago.
What symptoms have you noticed? I'm trying to figure out my own behaviour and would be really interested in your experience
Any doctor, nurse practitioner, etc. should be able to give you a screening test - in my case it was a 20-question form that said at the bottom if you answered Yes to more than 2 questions you might have some form of ADHD. I answered Yes to all but two lol.
I took LTO-3 food supplements against ADHD. ADD is thought to be the same mental disorder but with different symptoms, so it worked on me as well, except temporarily, only for teo weeks. Perhaps due to my type of autism of which the types of autism really haven't been distinguished yet.
So if you take LTO-3 and you notice vast differences in your own behavior, then you have ADD/ADHD.
Here's what I noticed:
I cannot sing.
So what? Sing all you want. Take a big fart in every kareoke bar you visit. Who cares?
Intelligence and depression go hand-in-hand. Thank God for drugs.
My brother is so smart he can rationalize his way out of seeking help for his chronic depression. I once told him about a FREE depression meds trial and he said "I don't want to be artificially happy." I responded "So you'd rather be naturally miserable?"
The human race is a constant disappointment
Anxiety and taking care of others before I take care of myself.
That life is truly a neverending struggle. Sure, you get to enjoy some of that struggle, and you can take a break every now and then. Nevertheless, the only time you're truly free from it is when you're dead.
No, I don't plan to end it immaturely. Please don't put me on suicide watch. I still have my people to take care of. 😅
Me too, thanks.
For me, it was “saying no doesn’t make me a bad person.” I was raised around extremely Christian people who emphasized that you should be there for everyone, even at the expense of self.
The problem is, people eventually take advantage of you. Also, when you finally say “no” to them, they act as though you’re a terrible person.
This is similar to "be a soldier and suck it up". I used to keep my objections to myself and go along with things. This doesn't make your feelings go away, instead it makes resentment build up along with passive aggression. I now speak up but do so reasonably nicely.
You can do everything right that people taught you. But you only start living when you make mistakes, fuck up, and find the places where you belong, and a picture perfect life doesn't bring you happiness; it's rather shallow and lonely.
That paired with the realization that my mental disabilities will make me lonely for the rest of my life and there's only so much I can do about it without having breakdowns.
I once had an Excedrin get stuck in my throat sideways. That was a pretty uncomfortable several hours of my life.
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