My kid got diagnosed, and then it became impossible to deny that I had it too

All the memes and TikTok videos really started to make me realize not everyone does this. Then a friend I did Adderall with recreationally in high school reached out to me and was like "hey remember when we did Adderall and we're like dude this is so boring I don't feel high at all then we just did all the stuff we had been putting off? Yeah, I just got diagnosed, you probably should too." That drove it home for me lol.

Attention, memory, constantly walk away and forget everything that was said, I can watch the same movie a few times before I remember it. I'm overall a space cadet in the brain. Did it happen yesterday? A few days ago? Two weeks ago? Who knows?

Why I don't go get tested? I like flying planes and the FAA doesn't believe ADHD is safe. Well, it's fine if you can properly manage it. It's pretty easy to take notes and follow the checklists.

My partner suspected it like a decade ago, pandemic rolled around, masking got harder. Started with my current therapist, who has ADHD, they worked with me exploring why I thought I may and helped me navigate diagnosis, seeing others lived experiences was big and is why I'm open about it at work and otherwise.

Had my preliminary consult with my psych and was given an eval that I passed with flying colours. Looking back, I check lots of boxes, I failed a course in uni because I got stressed and binged wow as an outlet, loss of structure hit me hard going from highschool. Courses I wasn't interested in I had a hard time investing in. My masking at work didn't do great for my mental health or personal life, food & alcohol were the drugs I used (incidentally vyvanse is used for binge eating disorder as well), hit financial issues from impulse spending. I've written about my experience with that in the past, was not a good time in my life (mentally or physically) but I've worked through it (with therapy) so it's a chapter I don't want to repeat.

I went through stages of acceptance after my diagnosis, which is totally normal, I'd get frustrated realising how much of my behaviour is linked to my ADHD, either directly or as a coping mechanism. Was annoyed initially I got the diagnosis in my 30s but hey, can't change the past and I wouldn't be who I am without my experiences. I've still got work to do and maladaptive coping mechanisms to unpack, but hey it's a journey and diagnosis was absolutely vital, I'm super grateful to my partner for really pushing me towards it, they're also nd so we help support each other.

Memes and posts about what happens when you have autism made me think "wait isn't that what everyone does?" Even then I thought what difference it makes knowing since I'm in my thirties and been working fine all this time.

Just took some tests, and it turns out I might be slightly on the spectrum. The first one I took was the raads and I got surprised to actually be above the threshold since I thought that most of my answers were what is normal. Then I took a couple more tests and even if I'm below the threshold is just by one or two points.

Even then I was like yeah that's not a big deal, besides some questions on the tests seem to need an update. But as I read more it seems to explain my behavior and difficulty to finish projects. So it may help to see a professional to help me determine the root issues and help me improve.

When the amount of time management, task tracking, studying guide I found helpful have ADHD labeled on them.... I started to connect past experiences together.

It got to the point where I just need an answer and get this question out of my system.

Got myself evaluated, and the rest is history.

Two children diagnosed using my school reports as background. All the signs.

While getting an adult diagnosis here is expensive and difficult, it's probably inevitable.

I'll get 'round to it soon...

Reading adhd memes and realizing it was just me