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[-] SARGEx117@lemmy.world 55 points 1 year ago

So this just came to mind, since it's kind of related.

My wife's family recently did another round of "family cookbook" reprints, since her sister died earlier this year and reminded the older generation of their own mortality, so they better make their additions and pass it on.

My wife did not receive one. The reason? "well you didn't have kids, so it's not like you can pass it on"

Due to genetic disorders, she decided to make sure she couldn't have kids. The doctor that performed the TL asked her about it in his opening small talk, "but you're so young!" then he opened her file, started reading, and apologized.

Her mother and remaining sister agreed with the decision and refuse to give her a copy.

[-] dasgoat@lemmy.world 54 points 1 year ago

Jesus that is so messed up. It's such a weird obsession too, furthering the family line. Like are we all royalty all of a sudden? Which hearths will I inherit, mother? Or will I inherit a bunch of debt and grandma's Beanie Baby collection? Get off your high horse.

Having said that, this shit must hurt. Sorry she went through that. It's such a stupid thing to be this shitty about.

[-] SARGEx117@lemmy.world 19 points 1 year ago

It was baffling to me. Like holy shit you, by your actions, are saying you don't consider her family because she won't have biological children. It's a family cookbook. Therefore it goes to family. If it doesn't go to someone, they aren't family.

[-] dasgoat@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago

Yeah that's so shitty. And it's like, one copy.

[-] SlopppyEngineer@discuss.tchncs.de 11 points 1 year ago

Little Bourgeois like to pretend they're rich and imitate the rich because of that. It's why people have lawns in a desert climate and eat way too much meat.

[-] SARGEx117@lemmy.world 16 points 1 year ago

It's the narcissism, 100%.

She desperately wants people to view her as fancy, high class and powerful, then she goes home to government housing.

Incidentally, this same woman had a trump flag hanging up in her living room the first time I ever went over, then she committed fraud by using my address to get "one of them damn Obamaphones" for free, claiming to be the resident. I only found this out much later after she nearly disowned my wife because I'm pro-choice, and my wife finally realized her mother is psychotic.

Literally the only thing keeping me from reporting this woman to the police is keeping my wife happy, because she's convinced if I do anything to piss them off too much, she won't be able to visit her nieces and nephews anymore since her sister will cut her off. I think that is a possibility, soooooo yeah.

The woman defrauds the social systems she elects people to destroy.

[-] WashedOver@lemmy.ca 2 points 1 year ago

Well Grandma's China cabinet and furniture needs to go somewhere as her kids won't take them.

[-] TheBat@lemmy.world 21 points 1 year ago

Oh no! Not the cookbooks! With secret recipes for KFC and self-sustaining fusion reactor.

Honestly, you should tell your in-laws to piss off. They sound toxic af.

[-] SARGEx117@lemmy.world 11 points 1 year ago

You have no idea. They're the stereotyped in-laws that everyone hates, but it's well deserved. MIL is narcissist, FIL/SIL are enablers.

[-] Sharkwellington@lemmy.one 11 points 1 year ago

The doctor that performed the TL asked her about it in his opening small talk, "but you're so young!" then he opened her file, started reading, and apologized.

Way out of line. He was probably about to ask what her husband would think.

[-] SARGEx117@lemmy.world 9 points 1 year ago

Ohhh the amount of times people ask that... And whenever it comes up in a conversation, people ALWAYS turn to me and ask me how I feel about that.

First of all, FUCK YOU that's how I feel about it, it's none of your goddamn business thanks for asking.

Secondly, I was with her when she went to see the geneticist, and fully supported whatever decision she came to.

Thirdly, who gives a shit what I think, it's not my body that would be going through everything.

[-] WashedOver@lemmy.ca 1 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Sorry to hear.

I've chosen not to have kids by choice and I use to hear all the time from coworkers that weren't born here, "gasp! what about your grandkids and your old age? Who will take care of you? You will regret it!"

Many years later now that I'm older I hear from the same ones say I made the right decision. "You get to enjoy your life and not to worry what those little a-holes have done wrong now. They aren't a burden you can't get rid of" I then usually ask them are they sure it's not too late to abort?

People are weird, including me...

[-] RIP_Cheems@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago

That's fuck up. Sorry for your wife.

[-] callouscomic@lemm.ee 2 points 1 year ago

Family is toxic and pointless. I don't know why people subject themselves to it as adults.

I'm talking about extended family, beyond your adult household.

[-] bassomitron@lemmy.world 12 points 1 year ago

Because not all people have toxic extended family, lol. Most of my extended family are awesome, friendly folks. I think you meant, "avoid toxic people in general," versus, "avoid extended family specifically"?

[-] callouscomic@lemm.ee 1 points 1 year ago

Well yeah pretty much. It is incredibly difficult for some though to come to that realization and apply it to family, because there's so much pressure put on family relationships that nearly all abuse will be overlooked when if the people weren't family they'd never choose to interact or ever get along. The arbitrary family connection causes years of pointless suffering.

Some families are stocked with reasonably pleasant people

[-] SARGEx117@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

Her family made me appreciate my own SO much more.

[-] WashedOver@lemmy.ca 3 points 1 year ago

There are some good families out there as I've dated myself into some of them over the years.

However there are many where you can hear the banjos playing a little too close when you go to a family event like a wedding.

It takes having your own banjos at times to know which ones are really playing them and which ones to cut out which is hard for many. I've been able to do it over the years but it wasn't easy for others to understand. I know I'm better off for it in the long run.

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Haha get rekt, genes. Ride ends here

[-] DragonTypeWyvern@literature.cafe 43 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Boomers: create an environment it's difficult to raise a child in

Boomers: wait, you can't just not have kids, starts outlawing abortion and spreading lies about population collapse

[-] name_NULL111653@pawb.social 7 points 1 year ago

Well, the population is collapsing... But only because it's impossible to raise kids in the conservatives' fucked up economy...

[-] bassomitron@lemmy.world 15 points 1 year ago

It's far from collapsing. Last I checked, there's only a handful of countries experiencing negative growth.

[-] DragonTypeWyvern@literature.cafe 15 points 1 year ago

If only there were also some countries that have entirely too much growth and there was some way they could move from one to the other!

[-] bassomitron@lemmy.world 14 points 1 year ago

Haha, yeah, it's ironic that the people bitching about us needing to have more kids due to shrinking population growth are the ones most staunchly against immigrants.

[-] SwingingTheLamp@midwest.social 5 points 1 year ago

It’s almost like there is some other factor that, shall we say, colors their beliefs?

[-] lightnsfw@reddthat.com 47 points 1 year ago

Sorry mom and dad. Your shitty genes made me ugly and your shitty parenting fucked up my personality. This is really your fault.

[-] LoamImprovement@beehaw.org 9 points 1 year ago

Don't forget the shitty political views that fucked up the environment and the economy. If my parents want grandkids they can adopt, I can't afford any of that shit and I won't put someone else through this hell if I can help it.

[-] TheBat@lemmy.world 29 points 1 year ago

My parents still haven't accepted that I'm not even willing to marry at the ripe old age of 34.

Yes, I'm Indian. How did you know?

[-] jana@leminal.space 32 points 1 year ago

I don't think that's as Indian-specific as you think

[-] TheBat@lemmy.world 12 points 1 year ago

Yes but we have a society wide peer pressure system called 'arranged marriage', which I'm fairly certain, is much more crazy and persuasive than any other community.

[-] oce@jlai.lu 3 points 1 year ago

Not common in Western countries anymore but still is in many other countries.

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[-] JTheDoc@lemmy.world 19 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Good.

Fuck my family.

I'm ending it right here.

[-] merc@sh.itjust.works 17 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Every person on earth comes from a long line of ancestors that goes back to the earliest humans. That means that if you don't have any kids, you'll be the first one ever in your line to not have kids.

Having said that, I would bet that a "line coming to an end" is a pretty common scenario. Even if the average couple has 2.1 kids, there are going to be families with 10 kids, and others with none. I wonder if anybody has ever collected stats on what fraction of people never have kids. Maybe it's something you can search for if you know what the right search term is.

[-] Anyolduser@lemmynsfw.com 12 points 1 year ago

The line doesn't go back to early humans. The line goes back to the the very "trunk" of the tree of life, a microbe known as LUCA - the Last Universal Common Ancestor.

Ancestry doesn't just run through the history of man, it runs through the history of all life on Earth.

[-] CurlyMoustache@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago

I know a Luca. Nice guy. Horny as hell, but a nice guy

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[-] Surreal@programming.dev 13 points 1 year ago
[-] isthingoneventhis@lemmy.world 8 points 1 year ago

I didn't know I had siblings!

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[-] AgentGrimstone@lemmy.world 12 points 1 year ago

Yup. Sorry.

[-] samus12345@lemmy.world 10 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Better to adopt. If the kid has a fucked up past or shitty genes it won't be your fault!

Is this Butcher's dad the science guy?

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this post was submitted on 04 Oct 2023
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