submitted 2 weeks ago by LadyButterfly@lazysoci.al to c/memes@lemmy.world

61 comments fedilink hide all child comments

top 50 comments

sorted by: hot top controversial new old

[-] TheUnsungRooster@sh.itjust.works 8 points 1 week ago

This actually used to happen when I was younger. I miss having friends and being able to just hang out in our free time. I miss having some usable amount of free time. Adult life sucks and sometimes I just feel like I want to jump of the Balcony and end it all since I'll never get the good times back and I'll never have anymore in the future.

[-] veni_vedi_veni@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Sucks to think about, especially since relative to the past we are in the most prosperous times, but people used to be happier in generations prior because they had cheap third places to go to, had a purpose and community.

And now our lives are surrounded by substitute and vicarious experiences that will never afford us true fulfillment. And like a drug, it saps us of the motivation to actually change any of it.

[-] _g_be@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago

Convenience at an all time high, wealth inequality at astronomical levels.

Times are different, complaints are valid

[-] a_postmodern_hat@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Sorry you’re feeling like this mate, hope you catch a break soon. Wish I could go back to my late twenties too sometimes.

[-] Bonskreeskreeskree@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago

Fight for the future you want everyone to have

[-] Nangijala@feddit.dk 7 points 1 week ago

I know it is popular to shit on Friends these years, but I think that it captures the growing up part of life pretty well as the show is basically about capturing a snapshot in time of a group of friends when they were the closest before adult life tore them apart. Because that is how the show ends. They all grow up, have adult responsibilities, different priorities and they all leave the apartment complex to start new lives away from one another.

In my 20s I had a group of friends for awhile and we would hang out in each other's apartments all the time, sometimes we would sleep over at each other's places and have breakfast together before heading to school. We would go on picnics and excursions together. All pile into the old, rusty car that one of us owned and drive somewhere.

We had a pub we liked to visit semi-regularly and we were pretty 50/50 men and women.

When we got our degrees, most of us packed up and left. We are now in our 30s and some have had kids in the meantime while most of us have grown apart. Some of us still keep in contact and hang out when our schedules permits it, but it isn't like it was when we were in our 20s.

To me, Friends is an idealized version of the friends group stuff in your 20s. To me it isn't as unrealistic as it's being made out to be nowadays, but it is idealized.

I treasure the few years I got to have good friends and classmates that I loved to hang out with and treat as family. No matter how much time passes, whenever we get to meet up again, it is almost like no time has passed at all, and that is such a great feeling, even if we only get to see each other like once a year.

[-] CalipherJones@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago

Reading that first paragraph makes me physically sick to my stomach. The impermanence of everything is killing me. There is no point. I cannot find a point of my own. It's legitimately driving me insane.

[-] WoodScientist@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 week ago

It's not how human beings are supposed to live. We're supposed to have that close-knit friend community our entire lives. People had this up until only 100-200 years ago or so. People in little farming villages were able to have a stable friend group for their entire lives and have time to interact with them. Kids didn't serve as a substantial barrier, as the friend group helped raise the children. This is how children are supposed to be raised. It's supposed to take a village.

It's only our hyper capitalist economy that atomizes us and forces us to scatter to the winds, endlessly chasing job after job in far flung cities, never able to settle down and form real community anywhere.

The way we live is deeply unnatural and fundamentally at odds with human nature. It's no wonder we're all mentally ill.

[-] Nangijala@feddit.dk 2 points 1 week ago

I think the impermanence of life is one of the most difficult things to accept, but once you do, there is some beauty to it too.

I think it is or at least should be one of the biggest motivators to try and live in the now. I have been the most happy, when I try to live in the now and appreciate what I have right now. It takes a bit of practice but it is doable and it a great antidote to anxiety and depressive thoughts in my experience. You cannot live in the now all the time, but aiming toward it, is a good way to spend the limited time you have in this life.

Big hugs to you.

[-] JargonWagon@lemmy.world 1 points 1 week ago

I used to live in a condo with some friends, and there were others in our friend group that would randomly show up throughout the day. The doors were always unlocked, so friends would just walk in. Sometimes it would be early in the morning and would hang out while I made myself breakfast. Sometimes it was late at night after they partied and needed a place to crash.

Seems similar to what you mentioned, I relate. Like you said, Friends was idealized, but not unrealistic.

[-] Nangijala@feddit.dk 1 points 1 week ago

Yeah, I think those memories are to be cherished. Your apartment setup back then genuinely sounds like a setup for a wholesome sitcom xD

It's stuff like that, that makes me have very few regret from my 20s because I full on just wanted to make friends and throw myself into a bunch of scenarios with them while I had the chance and was still young.

When I hit 30, I was like "I'm ready to move forward".

Still miss it sometimes. That closeness and the goofy shit we got up to sometimes. Also just the hanging out on those lazy evenings. Good times ❤️

load more comments (2 replies)

[-] ragas@lemmy.ml 5 points 1 week ago

Interesting. I have friends eating breakfeast at my place before work one or two times a week.

You may hate on me now.

load more comments (5 replies)

[-] Wolf@lemmy.today 4 points 1 week ago

I think the bigger lie is you can live in New York City and almost never interact with a person of color, but ok.

[-] Donkter@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago

What they don't mention here is that these guys get up at 6:00 AM, have lunch at 7 and leave at 8

[-] RizzoTheSmall@lemm.ee 3 points 2 weeks ago

The expectation that you could get an apartment that size in central NYC without being a billionaire is also a lie

[-] faintwhenfree@lemmus.org 2 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

I think they explained it, the reason they could afford it was because Monica's grandmother lived there, and they've been paying 1950s rent because of rent control or something. Something similar for phoebe as well. Anyway show never explains how joey/chandler/Ross can afford those big houses.

[-] Flamekebab@piefed.social 1 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

I quite like the way How I Met Your Mother handles this - the size of the apartments is the narrator misremembering. There's an episode where the characters have been viewing a house in ~~New Jersey~~ Long Island - they return to the apartment and it's portrayed as the size it realistically would be.

[-] Konstant@lemmy.world 0 points 1 week ago

Can you tell which episode it is? I've tried watching some but couldn't find it.

[-] Flamekebab@piefed.social 0 points 1 week ago

It's in the intro to S07E11. Took me a while to track it down!

[-] Konstant@lemmy.world 1 points 1 week ago

Thanks for tracking it.

[-] QuoVadisHomines@sh.itjust.works 0 points 2 weeks ago

Some of that is due to the realities of filming in a stage made to look like an apartment as you need the space for the camera crew to fit. This everyone lives in massive places.

load more comments (5 replies)

[-] agamemnonymous@sh.itjust.works 2 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

To be fair they lived 5ft away, it may as well have been one big apartment. And one of them was a chef.

[-] victorz@lemmy.world 1 points 2 weeks ago

Still. Who does that.

[-] mic_check_one_two@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Before the internet was widespread, it was extremely common for people to actually hang out in person. The show is set in an era where the internet was something you went out of your way to connect to, not something that was already integrated into every single device you used.

Especially since they all lived so close together, it’s 100% believable that they’d hang out together regularly. People also forget that the show takes place over multiple years, and we only see 20’ish episodes per year. Assuming each episode takes place across two’ish days, they’re still only seeing each other two or three times per week. If I lived across the hallway from my best friends, I’d probably hang out with them a few times per week too.

This is especially true from Chandler and Joey’s perspectives, where Monica’s kitchen is only like eight steps away from their own kitchen. Why bother cooking yourself breakfast, when there’s a professional chef willing to do it for you, and all you have to do is open two extra doors?

[-] Robust_Mirror@aussie.zone 1 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Ross doesn't live in the same building. Later on he moves into the building across the road from them though. Phoebe lives elsewhere as well.

[-] FrostbittenDuck@lemmy.zip 1 points 2 weeks ago

King of the Hill showing a group of childhood friends living next to each other, having time almost every day to just hang out near their homes and drink, went from just being a quaint little detail from when I watched it when I was younger to being an almost dreamlike aspiration as I move further into adulthood.

[-] skisnow@lemmy.ca 1 points 1 week ago

There's a certain amount of discourse in KotH fandom around exactly how all four childhood friends came to buy houses on The Alley behind Rainey Street. Apparently the canon is hazy and inconsistent, though I can't remember the details.

[-] kurikai@lemmy.world 1 points 2 weeks ago

What time do they start work? 11am?

[-] volvoxvsmarla@lemm.ee 1 points 2 weeks ago

That was part of a joke at the start of an episode. Everyone complained that their boss didn't like them and Joey (working at the Central Perk at that time iirc) pointed out "yeah I wonder why none of your bosses like you. Maybe it's because it's Wednesday 12 pm and you are hanging out at a cafe".

[-] HurlingDurling@lemm.ee 1 points 1 week ago

I loved Friends, but yeah, the whole show was a big fat lie and I hate I dont live in that world

[-] daddycool@lemmy.world 1 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

So no one told you life was gonna be this way.

[-] tomenzgg@midwest.social 1 points 2 weeks ago

👏 👏👏👏👏

[-] bradboimler@lemmy.world 1 points 1 week ago

One too many 👏

[-] thatradomguy@lemmy.world 0 points 2 weeks ago

Chandler being able to afford paying for rent AND providing for Joey is also incredibly unrealistic.

[-] markovs_gun@lemmy.world 0 points 2 weeks ago

Canonically Chandler is actually super rich from his mysterious nerd job and just lives frugally, and Monica's giant-ass apartment is rent controlled and inherited from her grandmother.

[-] Genius@lemmy.zip 0 points 2 weeks ago

He works in data analytics, his friends just don't care enough to learn what that means.

He probably analyses consumer and advertising trends to guide investments and product launches.

[-] pyre@lemmy.world 1 points 2 weeks ago

i bet you can hear this

[-] NotASharkInAManSuit@lemmy.world 0 points 2 weeks ago

Anyone showing up at my apartment to hang out while I’m waking up and getting ready for work is going to get chopped in the throat, that’s my time for rage and hatred for existence.

load more comments