This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/hfy by /u/Honeybadger841 on 2025-06-26 19:12:11+00:00.

The hum of machinery inside and the sounds of honking cabs outside were all background noise to Bagel’s disgust.

The amount of food in his bowl was treacherously low.

It met his standards… but only just. A can of tuna would have hit the spot at that exact moment- or maybe a bite of lasagna. The warmth of the Bodega was at its zenith, despite all the humans that were passing through, heedless of the wind that fluttered Bagel’s fur.

The calm of the shop was the life. He wouldn’t let this go for any reason. He had owned the Bodega for as long as he had known that he was the king. Bagel might have to venture out to meet others like him every so often, but that was a part of life.

Humans streamed in and out, buying insignificant items. They grabbed and went. No one lingered long enough to disrupt his solitude. After all, he was the manager. Better to be admired for his management skills than to be known for his lax attention to the Bodega. Having humans was a luxury, not a necessity.

Something disturbed his rest. Rolling to his paws, he shook himself off.

Customers.

Of all the people that came in for their minor fix, the ones that smelled like essential oils were the worst.

Customers were highly overrated. Their footfalls were loud and uneven. He grew irate at their approach to his corner in the shop's front.

What gave them the right to approach him?

He never understood why they always had to move around so much. Why come into a shop and then leave almost immediately? It was most improper! They should pay their tithes to Bagel before moving on.

The essential-oily person came into view. The woman in question had long human hair that looked like it needed to be turned into that one thing that the workers used to clean his floor. She chose her steps carefully.

“Damn, this stuff is crazy,” she said, talking to the worker behind the counter. “Five minutes until this thing arrives, huh?”

Bagel regarded her with as much care as he showed the other humans, which was to say, none . A mere peasant in his domain? She had better get on with the head-pats. That she would even deign to give him a look without immediately offering her unconditional surrender was an affront to his entire existence. Who did these humans think they were?

The great cats of old would never have stood for this.

Bagel put his head front and center right where she could see it. She could not deny him the head pat that he deserved.

“Five minutes, ah yeah. Are you taking the last five minutes of your old life to come here and buy something?” the worker behind the counter said.

“I mean, I need some water and I thought I’d get a blue ox before I left,” she said, finally getting on with the head pats.

“No one knows what’s about to happen, so why are you here, exactly?”

“The boss said I had to stay. Plus, my family is all in Brooklyn, anyway. I wouldn’t make it. Not in five minutes.”

Their conversation was abruptly interrupted when the phone rang. The worker answered, saying something inaudible before cursing and putting it back down. Bagel regarded the phone like any other object that tickled his fancy: he saw no immediate use for it and it made noise, so he let the humans have it.

“The boss called?” Raul said. He had always been so kind.

“Yeah, he said he feels bad. I can’t even go see my family, man.”

The woman stopped her head patting. Bagel meowed. This was an urgent matter that she needed to attend to immediately. Couldn’t she see?

Raul would help him.

“Man, it’s the system integration and your boss wants you to stay and work? What an asshole.”

“I know, right? Cash or card?” The worker looked like he was leaking fluid from his eyes.

“Let me just... You know the pop up said that electronics would work in post integration. I wonder how that’s going to play out.”

Both humans paused for a second as if they were reading a text or something.

“I know everyone’s like hunkering down right now, but did you want to stay with me?” she said. “Maybe we’ll get some cool cards?”

The man looked reluctant. Bagel regarded him with one eye, as was the custom. Something blue was in his vision. He blinked and swiped his paw at it. Every time he swiped, it kept moving.

“Oh, do you think poor Bagel is also getting integrated into the system?” she said, taking out her card.

“That cat’s been through everything. Two presidencies, three mayors, and now a system integration? It would be just Bagel’s luck to gain sentience or something like that. Then he could be the actual manager.”

The counter that was full of snacks and treats and little things that people bought with their little wallets and their little money things was clean. Bagel thought it was time to show off. He got up and jumped down. They were obviously asking him to give them a show, so he would oblige.

“You should really close up and go home. Who knows what’s going to happen? There could be a monster attack here, and you would be stuck.”

The woman looked like she was really working hard to convince the man of the merits of whatever she was saying. Bagel lifted his rear end for the long pat. Humans liked the long pat.

His worker gave him a pet with a wet hand.

“I really want to go, but I need this job,” he said, pain clear in his voice. Bagel sidled up next to him. “Plus Bagel needs me.”

“Look, Raoul, I have read these kinds of novels. I think we should be outside the minute we can. Fuck your boss,” she said.

Raoul wavered. Bagel meowed from his arms.

“God, I’m so sorry, Bagel. Just... You’re the manager now, alright?”

The worker put him down and jumped over the counter. Bagel's eyes lit up as strange symbols formed, changing so fast that he had to sit down.

“Shit! Sixty seconds!”

Raoul and the woman ran outside.

“Can you lock the door?”

“This is Manhattan! My door doesn’t lock!” There were more muffled voices, but Bagel was alone in the Bodega.

Taking the time to get himself into his favorite position on the counter, he lay down for a nap. Whatever those symbols that were moving in his eyes were would have to wait. He needed his beauty rest.

His dreams were interrupted by a voice, because of course someone would rain on his parade.

**Citizens of Earth! The System has arrived!**

**One in ten will receive a deck.**

**You have proven yourself worthy of a deck.**

Bagel scratched at the air.

**Illiteracy detected!**

A blue screen shot up in front of his face. Bagel moved back trying to avoid it but he couldn't. And the voice? It was talking about him, or to him. He wasn't entirely certain.

**Switching to voice over.**

The screen disappeared for a moment, and then something even worse happened. It began talking to him.

Bagel Status:

Level One Cat (Five Perk Points remaining)

Personal Perks:

Personal Perk 1: That cat is a Manager- You own the Bodega you have claimed as your territory. You may fight others for territory or buy their territories if they give them up.

Personal Perk 2: Khajit has coin- You are able to generate goods that your shop would have been able to produce daily based on how many credits you put into your account.

Personal Stats:

Health: 60

Attack: 40

Magical Attack: 0

Defense: 20

Magical Defense: 50

Bagel sat up and moved around but nothing stopped the voice until it was done talking. Ugh, voices were bothersome.

Cards assigned:

Bodega x1

Creature Cards:

Worker x 2

Pizza Rat x 2

Fast order chef X2

Item cards:

Potion X2

Restock x1

Bagel idly touched his chest.

All of a sudden, three rectangles formed above his front paws. On the opposite paw, a dot formed.

Worker

Tier 1 Mortal Creature

HP 40

Attack: 20

Special: The worker can operate your store according to your designs and will fight any hostile card bearers.

Potion

Item

Restore 20 HP to any creature you have in the field.

Pizza Rat

Tier 1 Beast Electric

HP 60

Magical Attack (Electric): 20

Weak against ground type attacks.

Special: Scavenger- This unit can use any power type to make attacks.

Bagel heard the grating voices in his head. He tried to shake it off, but it wasn't going anywhere.

**Assign one energy to either creature to summon it.**

Once again, the voice was inside of his head. He placed one paw on top of the other, inadvertently connecting them.

A generic looking human popped out in front of him.

It stared at him, as if waiting for instructions. Bagel raised an eyebrow, then presented his head for scritches. As if on cue, the human got with the scritches.

He looked a bit off, and he didn't have a smell.

"What do you need me to do, master?" he said.

Now THAT was more like it.

Bagel looked directly at the screen that appeared in front of them. He batted at it, but it felt weird. It shone over him like he was watching one of those drama shows that the humans sometimes put on during the slow hours.

He felt full body relief, just sitting there on the counter. Things were suddenly clear to him.

His name was Bagel. He was a cat. He had felt that before, but now he knew it.

He felt a full body shock. How could this happen? There he was happily managing his store and then? All of a sudden he had questions about himself, throwing him into a turmoil. The calm dead sea of his normal thoughts gave way to storms.

Under his fur, Bagel roiled. They had kept him here his entire life? He could have been a show cat!

He didn't want to be a show cat. But he could have wanted that. They didn't know.

He had lived as a kept cat. It ...

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