This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.
The original was posted on /r/hfy by /u/Spartawolf on 2025-06-29 17:59:12+00:00.
“Okay, Jack, would you like to say that again?” Sephy grinned as she pulled out her commlink to take a video of him.
“What?” Jack asked confusedly as the others began laughing at his expense.
Upon arriving home, the group had formed a loose circle around the collection of small tables they had pushed together in their living room, which were now mostly buried beneath an avalanche of takeaway boxes they had ordered. The others in the household were busy doing other things, leaving the group on their own to enjoy some food. The conversation eventually turned to how to further fix up their scrapped-together shuttle.
With Jack having a few…inspired suggestions.
“Oh come on!” Alora laughed. “You were talking about some of your bright ideas for the shuttle?”
“Yeah…?” Jack asked hesitantly, eyes narrowing.
“What exactly did you say we should attach to the bottom?” Sephy giggled, looking at Jack like he’d proposed growing a second head.
“A huge cannon…” He replied tersely as the others tried in vain to hold their laughter at the ridiculousness of the suggestion. “We can have the shuttle flying over us on overwatch, and we can throw a beacon or something for the shuttle to shoot an explosive payload over a specific location if we’re on the ground, or simply shoot it while we’re up in the sky!”
“Jack, there are so many things wrong with that idea!” Nika snorted. “First of all, where the fuck are we going to get an insanely expensive gun of that callibur in the first place? Second, how would we even fit it on the bottom of the shuttle? Thirdly, if we can fit it on the bottom of the shuttle, how the fuck do we even get the thing flying? The weight would sink us!
“It’s still a good idea!” Jack argued stubbornly, thoroughly annoyed now. “Think about it! If we get ambushed we can just blow them up!”
“And ourselves in the process!” Alora added.
“Only if we fuck it up!” Jack argued desperately. “Stratagems could work! Having a shitload of bombs we can drop or some kind of huge cannon would really help us out! We can totally fit something like that on!”
“Where the hell would we even get the bombs from?” Sephy asked exasperated.
“I don’t know! We make them or something?” Jack shrugged. “Lt Xcratho taught us how to make Thermite in Chemistry! Pretty sure I still have the notes!”
“Okay, fair enough, that was a useful lesson.” Nika conceded. “But there’s no way can we drop thermite from up high reliably. Using it during a Run might work, but only if we apply it effectively ourselves.”
“Like making a hole, cracking open a safe or fucking something really expensive up!” Sephy grinned at the imagination. “But no. We can buy grenades, but getting anything bigger that’s also worthwhile would be difficult if not impossible. Not to mention way above our budget!”
“So no insane weapons attached to the shuttle,” Alora finally concluded. “Any other ideas?”
“Okay, hear me out…” Jack began as he gave an inspired grin.
“Oh?” Alora raised her eyeridges, thoroughly skeptical.
“What about a Killdozer…?.”
******
“On a completely unrelated note, what is this food? It’s really good!” Jack exclaimed, very keen at this point to change the topic. He wasn’t lying though. The curry-like food they’d ordered wasn’t particularly spicy by human standards, but it had some kind of sweet, deep aroma to it that made the tender vegetables unbelievably tasty when paired with the mashed fruit that came with it, which was fluffier than rice but still went down the hatch well enough.
It’s Kyoken, Chiyo answered, the Ilithii having been quieter than usual on the way back to the house, clearly distracted by something.
‘Well I’m not an idiot.’ He thought. ‘Something’s clearly up with Chiyo, and I have a suspicion I know what it’s about…’
Considering the topic, he figured he’d give her space before bringing it up discreetly later.
Now clearly wasn’t a good time.
“Well, it tastes good!” Jack grinned. “Definitely a curry of some kind, but nothing like the Indian stuff we used to get at home.”
“It’s hard to make the sauce.” Alora smiled. “But I’m glad you enjoy it!”
Makes a change from pizza at least, Chiyo quietly ‘spoke’ up, slowly picking at her bowl.
“Hey, plenty of choices at the Cathedral.” Sephy gently whispered to Chiyo. “Enough time to clear your head on the way too.”
I’ll be fine, the Ilithii tersely replied.
“If you say so…” Jack sighed, avoiding the temptation to pry.
“So what do we wanna bring for the trip?” Nika asked everyone as the conversation died down.
“It’s not like it’s a Run,” Alora pointed out. “But we do have some bounties on us. We can just go casual but armed, just in case.”
Battleskins may still be a good idea, Chiyo cautioned as she took a larger spoonful of the curry, clearly enjoying the meal despite her mood. Armour too.
“Uh, I don’t disagree,” Jack began. “But they’re hard to take off, and we’re going to a place that apparently serves lots of alcohol…”
“Yes?” Alora asked.
“What about when we need to pee?” he asked, just wanting to put it out there.
“Jack!” Alora sighed, putting her head in her hands.
“I mean, we could just take them off when we get there?” Sephy shrugged. “Most weapons are restricted anyway so they have storage facilities.”
“I think that’s the best solution,” Alora agreed. “But no armor when we’re not on a job. Helps keep our identities murky.”
“Is it safe to drop our guard over there?” Jack asked.
“Definitely.” Nika nodded. “It gets loads of funding and it’s one of the most popular party destinations around, so the security is top notch, and the Clerics of Dilanna have a sworn duty to keep the party going and keep the party goers happy throughout so they can come again!”
Though the journey guarantees none of that. Chiyo warned.
“Quite true,” Alora agreed, giving the Ilithii a quick glance of worry.
“We don't need to gear up too much,” Nika noted. “I’ll leave my sniper rifle behind, and we also don’t need as much outdoor gear for a well-travelled route.”
“We can buy stuff in a pinch anyway.” Sephy shrugged. “I’ll pack one drone to use for overwatch when we get out of the city.”
“I think I might as well leave the blunderbuss-thingy behind, but I’ll take one of the bows,” Jack reasoned, referencing the stack of them the group had claimed from their somewhat recent harrowing Run to the Shrine of Elphil. “I’m pretty sure someone mentioned hunting wild game in the wilderness and I suspect you can’t do that with a plasma rifle.”
“True, it’s not the best kind of cooked meat you can have.” Nika admitted with a chuckle.
It may be useful to practice with it for future stealth missions. Chiyo reasoned. A bow is silent and doesn’t produce any light after all.
“True, but you would need to aim and target well for that to work,” Alora pointed out. “A non-lethal hit and they raise the alarm.”
“What about using magic of some kind?” Jack spoke up. “Like what Svaartal does with those glass knives he can launch? Maybe we can use some kind of silencing spell or something on the arrow?”
“Maybe…” Alora nodded thoughtfully. “Though none of us are mages. And the ones we know probably can’t manage something like that.”
“At least the mages we can trust,” Nika pointed out.
“What about that other idea you mentioned, Jack?” Sephy asked. “That thing you’ve been trying to make with the the fabricator? Some kind of kinetic weapon, right? Didn’t you say it was from some kind of human game you once played?”
“Yeah!” Jack perked up excitedly. “I think we can do it! Basically it’s like an air rifle that works with a pneumatic pump that can fire ball bearings! You just have to pump it full of air between every few shots!”
And this was from a game? Chiyo asked skeptically.
“Yeah, from the Metro series!” Jack grinned. “Great for a stealth run!”
“I mean, it could work…” Sephy shrugged, looking to Jack. “You can summon ball bearings with your gauntlets, right?”
“Yup!” Jack grinned, quickly making some appear in his palm with the Clan Bharzum sigil etched in every one of them.
“Are you able to share them with the rest of us?” Alora asked thoughtfully. “I know proximity can be an issue with some of the other things you can summon.”
When we were robbing the Shaskasaki warehouse, we did have to separate over long distances, Chiyo pointed out. And that’s not to mention the potential firing range of the weapon…
“Then we add that to the list of things we need to field test.” Nika shrugged. “Assuming the concept works in reality and you’re able to make it of course.”
“Yeah.” Jack admitted. “I’m no Colin Furze, but I might be able to pull it off with a bit of trial and error. At the moment, I’m focusing on making the stock and barrel, but that’s the easy part. No idea how to make the action for it - that’s the super complicated part.”
Well at least you have time to research it during the holidays! Chiyo added.
“Really, Chiyo?!” Sephy snorted as she rolled her eyes. “Why do you always have to suggest doing nerd shit? Come on, you need to switch off once in a while, especially tonight!”
I suppose you’re not wrong. Chiyo let out a sad smile.
“Ah don’t worry.” Sephy sighed, playfully ruffling the Ilithii’s hair. “A trip to the damn Cathedral of Merriment? We’ll make a party girl out of you yet!”
Can’t wait. Chiyo deadp...
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