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The original was posted on /r/hfy by /u/Klokinator on 2025-06-29 19:56:55+00:00.
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(Part 001)
Far-Future Era. Day 3, AJR. Sharmur, in the mountains west of Melodia.
Beelzebub and Buddha stood next to the edge of a cliff, perhaps twenty feet separating them from a thousand-foot plunge to the bottom of the ravine. However, there was still the entire flat side of the mountain-top in the other direction up to the tree-line, so their designated battle arena had plenty of room to maneuver.
Buddha slapped his chest. The T-REX hidden beneath his black long-sleeved shirt sprang to life and started coating his body with advanced nanite armor. This was the most advanced T-REX Phoebe had made before her death, and the only one she would ever make again. Beelzebub didn't make a move, but instead watched as the nanites covered the man's body.
"Those nanites won't save you if I get serious." Beelzebub said calmly. "Do you have the slightest idea how powerful I am?"
Buddha smiled as the nanites climbed up his head and formed a faceless helmet, swallowing his mouth, eyes, and nose. "Admittedly, if you were to attack me with lethal force, I would die. But remember, all you have to do is knock me to the ground. That is your one goal. Do not hold back in achieving this purpose."
Beelzebub snorted. He couldn't possibly take this fight seriously. A mere mortal human had no chance of beating him in a serious fight.
But a spar? It might be a little fun. At least it would be fun to show this 'Buddha' how big the difference was between himself and the strongest demon in the mortal realm.
Without warning, Beelzebub detonated a flame behind himself and launched forward, sweeping a palm at Buddha's chest. With one ruthless strike, he intended to slam the human into the ground and teach him the difference between the sky and the mud!
Buddha sidestepped. His hand swept upward, and he simultaneously swatted Beelzebub's arm aside while also jumping backward with his left leg and kicking Beelzebub's ribs with his right.
"???"
Beelzebub let out a strange cry of surprise before finding his entire momentum thrown off. Buddha kicked him to the side with enough force to launch him off the edge of the cliff. Beelzebub let out a muffled yelp before hurtling to the bottom of the ravine below. A second later, he ignited flames beneath his feet, reversed his momentum, and flew back up to the top of the cliff.
When he landed, his cool and cocky smile was gone. He felt a little humiliated by the fact that his attack was seen through and neutralized in so decisive a fashion.
And by a mere human at that!
"Apologies." Buddha said smilingly beneath his helmet. "I didn't realize your footwork was so shoddy."
"You!" Beelzebub snapped.
He launched himself at Buddha again in a fit of rage. He still held back his power, not wanting to accidentally kill the human, but right when he drew within range, he detonated a shockwave of flame around his body, aiming to pummel Buddha into the ground without giving him a chance to grab and retaliate.
The shockwave struck Buddha, but he had already firmly planted his feet at just the right angle. When the shockwave slammed into him, it merely pressed his armored boots several inches into the dirt while also clearing away all the random plants and vegetation in the area within thirty meters.
Beelzebub's eyes flashed with shock, but never did he expect that Buddha would then use the shockwave's pressure to coil power into his knees before jumping directly at Beelzebub.
"???" Beelzebub let out another strangled cry of surprise as the lowly human pounced at him with a fist raised.
Thwack!
Buddha punched Beelzebub in the side of his head with the full strength of the T-REX, shattering the side of Beelzebub's jaw, breaking off multiple teeth, and punting him down into the dirt. Beelzebub struck the ground and dragged along it for over twenty feet, digging a shallow ditch with the side of his face. Naturally, he had received far worse blows hundreds of times, so his face regenerated almost immediately, but it was still a humiliating loss!
"Urgh! You spawn of a broodmother!" Beelzebub groaned as he jumped back up to his feet and spit bloody teeth all over the dirt. "You're really starting to piss me off!"
Buddha had already landed on his feet. He took a three-legged stance, with his left palm pressing against the ground and his right hand balled into a fist.
"Hoho..." Buddha chuckled mirthlessly. "Already, thirty seconds have passed, yet the great Beelzebub has failed to knock this lowly mortal human into the dirt. What a stain on your great name this must be, eh?"
"Shut up!!" Beelzebub roared. He decided to punch several fireballs at the human, setting them to low heat and power but with high concussive force. Even if he was pissed, he really didn't want to kill the human by accident, so he continued to focus on tactics that would knock him down and wear him out.
Those fireballs flew at Buddha with frightening speed, but the ancient Reincarnator didn't seem perturbed. He darted to the right, then to the left, then to the right again while explosions detonated behind him, to his side, and even in the dirt in front of him. Some of those explosions knocked him around a little, but not once did they throw him further than a foot or two. Beelzebub felt secretly shocked at how ineffective these fireballs were. How the hell was Buddha still standing?
Unbeknownst to Beelzebub, Buddha wasn't only dodging from side to side. He also slowly moved forward, carefully closing the gap between himself and his much more powerful adversary. At the right moment, when he noticed a gap between two of Beelzebub's fireballs, he lunged forward, stomping against the ground as he made a mad dash directly at Beelzebub's chest!
Beelzebub didn't even have time to react. Buddha tackled him to the ground and drove the wind out of Beelzebub's lungs before quickly jumping backward and making distance. Beelzebub recovered almost instantly, but he was even more pissed than before.
"Lucifer's tits! You know I'm taking it easy on you, right?!" Beelzebub snapped. "If I wanted you dead, you'd be dead a thousand times! Don't mistake my mercy for weakness!"
"I never said I did." Buddha said calmly. "You are correct. If you seriously wanted me dead, I would be dead. Thank you for adhering to the spirit of the match."
Beelzebub frowned. Buddha's 'apology' seemed to slap him across his face, making him feel a little ashamed. Wasn't it beneath him to brag about his strength to a mere human?!
His mind moved quickly. He gazed at Buddha, who had assumed a defensive stance once again.
If this takes me any longer, I'm going to eternally be unable to look myself in the mirror. How do I knock him flat on his ass in the shortest time possible?
An instant later, Beelzebub snapped his palm forward. A bolt of lightning fired directly at Buddha, but the man tossed a rock in front of himself while dodging to the right. That rock redirected the lightning just enough that it arced off to the side and slammed into the forest behind himself, lightning a fire. Buddha, however, was unharmed.
"You saw through my lightning?!" Beelzebub exclaimed in bewilderment.
"No. But your movements are sloppy, basic, and predictable." Buddha said, never taking his eyes off his opponent. "You have no combat sense. You haven't even yet determined what our spar is all about. You are as arrogant as ever, thinking in the back of your mind that you should win purely based on the strength of your magic. You're so used to fighting lethal battles where you throw your exploding body at your opponent that you cannot wrap your head around a battle where the intricacy of your movements will determine victory alone."
Beelzebub flinched. Buddha's words were somewhat rude, but... when Beelzebub thought about it, the man had a point...
It might seem as though Buddha was handily handing Beelzebub his ass, but the ancient Hero knew far better than his opponent that an instant of inattentiveness would cost him his life. Despite his theatrics and provocative words, Buddha was taking Beelzebub as seriously as possible. He controlled his breathing underneath his helmet, but he also kept himself ready for many of the deadlier abilities in Beelzebub's arsenal.
"The intricacy of my movements...?" Beelzebub asked. "What does that even mean?"
"Every action has an equal and opposite reaction." Buddha explained calmly. "You reap what you sow. This is called Karma. When you extend your right arm to fire a bolt of li...
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