Bill gates gets an erection

It boots into Windows 11 and rewrites the master boot record.

Straight to jail.

Just wait until you get a keyboard with the Claudepilot key. You'll be terrified.

the demons will chant something like

KeyPress event, serial 35, synthetic NO, window 0x1000001,
    root 0x4fa, subw 0x0, time 1581082413, (357,257), root:(2278,274),
    state 0x0, keycode 133 (keysym 0xffeb, Super_L), same_screen YES,
    XLookupString gives 0 bytes: 
    XmbLookupString gives 0 bytes: 
    XFilterEvent returns: False

KeyRelease event, serial 35, synthetic NO, window 0x1000001,
    root 0x4fa, subw 0x0, time 1581082469, (357,257), root:(2278,274),
    state 0x40, keycode 133 (keysym 0xffeb, Super_L), same_screen YES,
    XLookupString gives 0 bytes: 
    XFilterEvent returns: False

Superman shows up. It's called the "Super" key for a reason. Please only use it in real emergencies, he's busy.

Defenestration.

It automaticlly sends all porn and nudes saved on your PC to your mom.

The interdimensional cops get you

Instant death

Recursive read errors that let the magic smoke out of the box, without which the computer cannot function.

I configured mine to handle all window-related actions. That's how I get around the blasphemy. 🙃

~~Also, I bought a laptop which has a different logo on that key.~~

you get to see windows and linux duking it out

Instant BSOD!

I pulled all the Windows keys off my keyboards for a reason, I just can’t seem to remember it. Must have been bad enough to make me suppress that memory.