I just wanted to say thanks to anyone who may have donated. Again you have no idea how much it means. Not gonna spam this message all day today, don't worry, but thank you to those that did... Thank you so so much. And to anyone who upvoted or commented or gave well wishes. It means the entire world to me right now.
Ballroom Blitz.
Before I get flack from everyone, I have a specific reason. I was staying at a cabin with some friends, and some of the kids played Ballroom Blitz constantly. Every day, all day, for a week. Heard it every time I walked in. So I think you understand now.
Freebird. It goes on forever and the constant asking for it at all concerts was boring.
No song drives me into an irrational fury like "The First Noel". It's slow, the melody sucks and the lyrics are the laziest drivel I have ever had the displeasure of being subjected to.
The first Noel the angels did say
ok, "did say" is a little clunky but you want an easy rhyme, that I can forgive
Was to certain poor shepherds
In fields as they lay,
alright, we've established some context. The angels are talking to some shepherds.
In fields where they lay
Yeah we get it, they're laying in the fields
Keeping their sheep
yes, they're SHEPHERDS we get context
on a cold winter's night
that wa-as so deep.
The night was SO DEEP? That's what you came up with to rhyme with sheep? A line we didn't need because we already established that they're fucking SHEPHERDS aaagh FUCK this song I'm not going to go through the whole thing but there are SEVERAL more verses and they all suck just as bad. How many hours of my childhood did I spend having to sit through this miserable drivel and it's SO SLOW every time I hear it I feel like my brain is being forced to wear a too-tight necktie.
This is a Welsh song from centuries ago. The “clunky” English is a result of this.
Fireflys by Owl City. The first couple of notes of the synth is enough to send me into a blind rage.
Reggaeton. It's all the same song! They have played us for absolute fools
My Humps by the Black Eyes Peas.
It's one thing for a song to be bad, and this one was, but there was a period of what felt like months when I had to hear this at least twice a day because it would always be on the radio when I was on the coach to and from college.
Awful, awful, song.
Last Christmas by Wham!
My special needs uncle got a keytar for Christmas one year when I was a small kid, and it came with that as a demo song, and so for the next seven years until that keytar mysteriously got destroyed, every single time I was over at my grandmother's house (who was his caretaker), Last Christmas was playing in the background.
I despise that song now.
all i want for christmas is youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu uuu-uuuuuu
EASY
Dance Monkey - Tones and I
Fuck that song. I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT
Home by Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros. I know a lot of people love it, but I had a coworker that played it endlessly at the office and as soon as I hear that whistling, I want to jump out of the window.
That song may be the epitome of the 'stomp clap hey' genre of peak performative hipsterdom.
The entire catalog of the Red Hot Chili Peppers.
"Heyo-o, listen to what I say-o."
What a masterpiece!
Surprised at the lack of Maroon 5 or Imagine Dragons in here. Fucking milquetoast "rock". Sugar and Thunder immediately come to mind as two songs I'd rather didn't exist.
Radioactive.
It had a novel, ear-grabbing sound at the time, but got overplayed to the point where it now just grates on my nerves.
Also: most American wedding reception traditions like The Electric Slide and The Chicken Dance. Do better. I once went to a reception where everyone did The Time Warp and it was amazing.
Disturbed's version of Sound of Silence.
Pink Pony Club.
Dancing Queen.
Rick Astley did a cover of Pink Pony Club I like and its the only version
Dancing Queen... I will fight you
From me, I have two to lay on you.
I hate Dust in the Wind. Nothing matters because we are all just dust in the wind. Yes, fine, dude but then why bother writing the fucking song? Just to depress the rest of us?
And that song about drinkin' whiskey from the bottle never thinking bout tomarra singin Sweet Home Alabama aaaallll summer long. It's in my husband's workout playlist and despite being vaguely hooky it's just such utter slop.
(I will say though that the same playlist convinced me AC DC are not nearly as bad as I remembered. Whole Lotta Rosie is a jam, and also It's a Long Way to the Top is pretty good)
That whiskey song is Kid Rock... gross. Anyways, Pat Finnerty did a great video on why that song is objectively shit. Worth a watch to get a little bit of that rage out through shared suffering.
Pretty much any Christmas themed song so especially shit like Mariah Carey's and last Christmas and pretty much all Christmas carols.
Holla Back Girl by the former lead singer of a band that was actually good.
Come on, Barbie, let's go party...
Under my umberella ... Ella, Ella, eh.
Anything ANYTHING by George Thorogood. I'm Bad to the Bone. ARE YOU? Who are you trying to convince by repeating it so often?
when i hear "bad to the bone" i imagine it's a blitzed and stuttering george trying to get one last drink from the bartender in "one bourbon one scotch one beer"
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